Dramatic Entrance Fail By FML Approved - 01/08/2017 03:28 It's not easy being cheesy... I agree, your life sucks 576 You deserved it 210 Share Tweet Share
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML I agree, your life sucks 110 589 You deserved it 48 771
Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 565 You deserved it 4 908
This is basically me during every conflict I've ever witnessed. I agree, your life sucks 452 You deserved it 113
Today, my friend bit me. The first time I said "Ow!" and pushed her away. The third time really hurt, and I got mad and said, "Don't fucking bite me!" and walked away angrily. She chased after me and told me I couldn't be mad at her, then got mad when I wouldn't talk to her. She didn't say sorry once and it started bleeding. FML I agree, your life sucks 956 You deserved it 130
Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML I agree, your life sucks 62 181 You deserved it 9 225
Today, I took a massive dump in a trashcan in the back of my company's catering truck. We have a professional tailgate spread for clients to enjoy at the local games. My boss got drunk and left me to work it alone for 8 hours. The closest bathroom is 1/2 mile away. I hate my job. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 104 You deserved it 147
Thank god the garage door was in the way, mom might have been just another statistic from being run over.