Health Fire Close but no cigar

Close but no cigar

Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

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This is lit

a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

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Fireball

Anonymous - 03/07/2022 22:00

Today, I went into work to finish one last task, but decided to also have a fire in the pit. I grabbed the wrong can of fuel and ended up taking a fireball to the face, singed the hair on my head, arms, and I have to shave my beard off… Well, what’s left of it. FML

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crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

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Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

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Testing, testing

BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

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why? - 01/05/2015 13:41 - United States

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

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Anonymous - 19/09/2011 20:27 - United States

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

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Hack it off

Anonymous - 09/04/2021 08:00

Today, I managed to shave a single stripe out of the right side of my beard before the trimmer sparked and caught fire. I have a job interview in twenty minutes. FML

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I'm awake

meh beard - - Canada - Bowmanville

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

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GokuSS400 18

Thursday 24 December 2015 7:39

One very good reason to stop smoking

Kuibe 18

Thursday 24 December 2015 7:42

You see kids smoking hurts you in more than one way!

JordoSlash 11

Tuesday 29 December 2015 23:17

#hipsterfalis

zanzalanz 5

Wednesday 30 December 2015 23:32

Dumbass smokers

Thasnoxi 8

Thursday 31 December 2015 22:10

The world decided you were being too manly, and needed to calm down.

HooyahNavy 10

Tuesday 12 January 2016 1:56

Maybe you should shave

harleyquinnxx 17

Thursday 18 February 2016 20:47

Why is this in the 'love' category, I'm confused.

xAmazon 7

Monday 8 January 2018 9:53

This is why you don't smoke

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

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Today, I was on a date with a guy I met online. After 30 minutes, he abruptly stands up and says he has to leave. He practically ran out of Starbucks to get away from me. FML

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Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

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Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

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Today, my boss called me a liar and untrustworthy. Why? Yesterday I went home to grieve, after finding out my father figure is in hospice, but because he's just in hospice and not actually dead yet, that somehow means I lied about his death to get a day off work. What? FML

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Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

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