Cartoonish

By mr_dinzaster - 02/02/2026 06:00

Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 1 896

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Random Next FML

Same thing different taste

So sorry!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 573

Sneaky

By Wow - 15/01/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, my cat tried to steal my burger. She was successful. She grabbed the patty with her teeth and pulled it right out of the burger. I was too dumbfounded to try and stop her. I have a suspicion that she is hungry and I forgot to feed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 1 072

Naughty boy

By Bad boy - 21/09/2023 06:00

Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 228

Bad doggo

By Aaron - 07/07/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I took my dog to the dog park and let him off the leash for a bit. He ran straight towards a group of people having a picnic, jumped on their blanket, and devoured half of their food before I could catch him. They were surprisingly forgiving, but I had to buy them lunch to make up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 843

Deep dish

By Grauncho - 22/09/2012 14:12 - United States - Chicago

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 740

You deserved it 3 623

What ARE you doing?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 375

You deserved it 1 537

Naughty boy

By Anonymous - 06/11/2025 03:00

Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 154

Dangerous words

By lily - 30/08/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 154

You deserved it 54 679

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 109

You deserved it 8 778

In my way

By Anonymous - 19/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 113

Jackey 29

Thursday 30 May 2019 22:18

You made a pup very happy. Go You!

mymegangirl 7

Thursday 30 May 2019 23:53

wow. that sucks

Comments

Jackey 29

Thursday 30 May 2019 22:18

You made a pup very happy. Go You!

ojosRojos 28

Thursday 30 May 2019 22:57

This isn’t an FML. The dog gods sent you an angel and your burger was your repayment.

WeirdUS 29

Thursday 30 May 2019 23:17

How much of the burger was left that your forgot? Also was not aware that dog hair would be a condiment on any food.

alycion 38

Friday 31 May 2019 11:25

You have never been around a husky. Fur is an ingredient in everything when they blow coat.

mymegangirl 7

Thursday 30 May 2019 23:53

wow. that sucks

mr_dinzaster 16

Sunday 2 June 2019 4:19

Right lol

bluhbluhbluh 14

Friday 31 May 2019 1:28

smart dog!

mr_dinzaster 16

Friday 31 May 2019 7:10

Quick update the dog came back and he loves my dogs and I have him actual dog food lol... and some chips too 😅😅

Aspirax 13

Saturday 1 June 2019 13:47

Touching animals while you're eating is completely unsanitary.

mr_dinzaster 16

Sunday 2 June 2019 4:21

I feel you bruh

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I forgot to take my phone out of my bathing suit pocket before I went into the pool. It's not a high-end phone, so that's not why FML. The FML part is because I was on vacation, didn't have internet access, and the phone has no external memory card, so all the pictures I took while on vacation are lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 530

Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 744

You deserved it 12 062

Today, I found out my boyfriend is bringing his friends on our trip. I'm now the third wheel on the romantic trip we've planned for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 472

You deserved it 4 941

Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 887

You deserved it 43 631

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 346

Today, I went to Lidl to buy the cheapest jaffa cakes I could. They cost 35p. When I was eating them later on I put the plastic wrapper onto the side. When I'd finished eating my jaffa cakes I went to pick up the wrapper... The dog had eaten it. Cost me a £150 vet bill. Most expensive jaffas I've ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 021

You deserved it 8 563

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments