Bananarama By wtfisthisworldcomingto - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 882 You deserved it 7 510 Share Tweet Share
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 380 You deserved it 2 790
Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 152 You deserved it 4 475
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML I agree, your life sucks 47 473 You deserved it 4 561
Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 257 You deserved it 1 031
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 772 You deserved it 4 431
Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 723 You deserved it 8 911
did he stab you with the banana?
That's important information. Tell the cops to search for banana breath.