Love

Mind your own beeswax

Aiedail - 02/03/2023 23:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after months of watching it brewing, my best friend, who I love dearly, slept with the girl I've disliked for almost as long. It’s not my place to be hurt, we’re not together, but the idea just fills my heart with hopelessness and sadness. FML

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No stars on Trip Advisor

Anonymous - 02/03/2023 11:00 - United States - Ingleside

Today, I paid for my man to get a massage while we were on vacation. The hour passes and he wasn't answering his phone or texts. I go to the room and he’s just getting out of the shower. I come to find out she is high on ketamine, and he said they kissed. He still denies it. This is what I get for getting him a massage. FML

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Liquid fun

Anonymous - - United States - Louisville

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has lost interest in our relationship. She's found out she likes drinking. A lot. FML

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Congratulations

NeedToGetLaid - 01/03/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it’s mine and my fiancée’s two year anniversary. No, not our engagement or dating anniversary, it’s the two year anniversary of when we last had sex. FML

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Monthiversary?

Anonymous - - United States - Lewisville

Today, my boyfriend got pissed off and is now sulking, all because I didn't make a huge deal out of our one-month "anniversary". FML

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The boy is mine

Not the daddy-o - 01/03/2023 02:00

Today, I found out that I’m not the father of my “son” but I'm his uncle. The only thing my wife did was to shrug and say, “Shit happens.” FML

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Double whammy

Anonymous - 28/02/2023 16:00 - Argentina

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML

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Leech

HadEnough - 28/02/2023 22:30 - India - Hyderabad

Today, I asked my husband to be a little more responsible, pick up after himself, and spend a little less. I earn more than he does, so it's usually my money that he splurges. He has gone on a non-stop tantrum for the past 5 hours, giving me the cold shoulder, and shouting at me. What have I gotten myself into? FML

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Sneaky

FlowerGal88 - 28/02/2023 06:00

Today, I found out that the mystery flowers I received from a “Johnny” that caused my boyfriend to dump me on Valentine’s Day was really from him. He concocted this plan to make it look like I was cheating on him with a “Johnny” instead of confessing he was leaving me for someone else. FML

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Dating apps are hopeless

Anonymous - 28/02/2023 04:00 - Norway

Today, after seeing that my Tinder profile has been stagnant for a VERY long time, I became desperate enough to purchase a 100x boost. The result? One of the girls unmatched me. Not that it matters. All my matches have yet to answer back. FML

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Cultural imperialism

Anonymous - 28/02/2023 02:00

Today, my new boyfriend said I’m only allowed three male friends, and their names are, “the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.” When I told him he was quoting Will Ferrell, I realized he was born in Croatia and doesn’t know who that is. FML

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Creepy disruption

Anonymous - 27/02/2023 10:00

Today, my stepbrother, with whom I’ve had a normal relationship with since we were 5, announced that he’s in love with me. I rejected him, but now my stepmom who’s Catholic is blaming me for "seduction and immorality" blah blah, while my dad now thinks my brother is a pervert who needs to live somewhere else. FML

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How very dare you?

minnEmouse - - United States

Today, I met my husband's old high school sweetheart. My mother-in-law introduced me to her as "one of my son's friends." We've been married for over eight years. FML

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Close, but no cigar

LisaM - 27/02/2023 04:00

Today, my long-distance boyfriend of 3 years uttered the heartbreaking words, “I met this girl here in my hometown and she’s really great and we fell in love with each other, I can’t do this anymore. We’re over.” I was planning on moving to his town after graduation this year. FML

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Short truce

Anonymous - 26/02/2023 22:00

Today, it's been a week since my girlfriend has been mad at me but still won’t tell me why. Then she came on to me all sexy like, so I thought all was forgiven. Nope, she was just horny. Once she got her orgasm, she left me blue-balled, went right back to being mad at me, and still won’t explain why. FML

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Dating sucks

Anonymous - 26/02/2023 06:00

Today, I spent three hours cleaning my apartment for a date. I then took a nap, only to wake up to find my cat had destroyed the place. Lucky for me, my date never showed up, and I ended the evening drinking Prosecco while sadly swiping through Tinder. FML

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Run for the hills

Stuck - 25/02/2023 23:30 - Canada - Old Perlican

Today, I've been engaged for 2+ years to a man who asks every day who i've spoken to and accuses me of cheating when I talk to people outside of my family. When he's home, I have to watch him talk on the phone to every person who calls. This is considered our time together. Then he wants sex. I know I'm stupid for staying. FML

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Code red

ugh - - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that we need a code word for when I'm being annoying. FML

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Major red flag

Anonymous - 25/02/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom - Ashfield

Today, my boyfriend has been super nice to me all day and I was enjoying the attention. At bedtime, he asked me if I was happy, I said yes, he asked if was I happy enough to try butt stuff. I said no, like I do every time he asks for butt stuff. He turned over and went to sleep. So much for being nice. FML

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Been there, done that

forever alone - 24/02/2023 16:00

Today, I came to the unhappy realization that I’m living such a cliche. I’m completely in love with a totally unavailable man. He’s funny, smart, and drop dead gorgeous. There’s no way I could ever tell him how I truly feel. He’s gay and I’m a woman. We’ll never be more than friends. FML

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Alexa, play 'Karen Don’t Be Sad' by Miley Cyrus

Buy yourself flowers then - 23/02/2023 10:00

Today, my girlfriend posted “Alexa, play 'Flowers' by Miley Cyrus” as her Facebook status, all because I didn’t return her 14 missed calls. Apparently, taking an online proctored exam, which required absolute concentration counts as “talking to other women.” FML

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No uggos please

Anonymous - - United States - Scottsbluff

Today, my girlfriend and I tried out a website where you upload pictures of two people, and it shows you what their future children might look like. She actually started crying because the kid we were shown wasn't cute enough for her liking. FML

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Matching

Anonymous - 23/02/2023 02:00

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. I arrived early and waited for him for over an hour. When he finally showed up, he was wearing the exact same outfit as me. FML

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Time to move on

Anonymous - 22/02/2023 10:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, it's been a year since the girl I'm madly in love with completely cut off all communication with me. She called me crying a year ago, saying she couldn't do the long-distance, unaware I was planning on moving closer to her. Not once has she reached out, and has a girlfriend now. I think about her every night. FML

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National shite day

Anonymous - 22/02/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I got destroyed by a midterm at 8 a.m. that I studied quite hard for. I was already seeing red and holding back tears, then the FIRST thing I was graced to see as soon as I walked out of class was my ex entertaining a girl - the first time I’d ever seen it happen. I sobbed the whole way back on my walk home. FML

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Mrs Popular

Marco - 22/02/2023 12:00

Today, I sent flowers to my ex, scheduled to be delivered after work in the evening. She texted me at midday thanking me for the flowers. I looked at my shipping order and they haven’t been sent yet. FML

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Don't knock it til you try it

confusedmofo - - Indonesia

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

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Time to move

Anonymous - 22/02/2023 02:00

Today, I found out the guy I consider my best friend has had a girlfriend for the past year, and they have been living together for the past 7 months. He and I have been having unprotected sex for the past 4 and a half years, and have even talked about having kids together. I only found out because I'll be their new roommate. FML

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Throwing it all away

Anonymous - 21/02/2023 22:00

Today, I tried telling the girl I like how I feel about her. Little does she know I broke up a 6-year relationship for her. We're "just friends” she says. FML

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Not so close

WorriedGF - 21/02/2023 16:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 3 years has a 'Close Friends' restriction on his Instagram stories. I’m not included in that restriction. Upon asking about it during dinner, he knocked stuff off the table, told me to “stop worrying about petty shit so much,” and stormed out. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after months of asking my massage therapist boyfriend to work on me, and him always saying he’s too tired to do so, I called my local spa to make an appointment. He then screamed at me for wasting money and for going to the competition when he could just do the job himself. I'm confused too. FML

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Today, on the first occasion I've seen my boss since her brief leave, I brought up how I got to hear all our customers' heartwarming plans for their moms on Mother's Day. Her mother just died. That's why she was on leave. FML

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Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

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Today, I got an e-mail from a guy I'd had a one night stand with. He wanted to get together to talk about it. Turns out he's in rehab and he wanted to address the biggest mistakes he'd ever made in his life. I am a on a drug addict's list of regrets. FML

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Today, my friend told me that he was having a Scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special Scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly, I brought the dictionary and as I walked in, everyone was playing beer pong. FML

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Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML

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