Dating

Good girl

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 06:00

Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who said, "Good girl" whenever I said anything that he agreed with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 042

You deserved it 313

Lower your expectations

By mista_sandy - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 105

You deserved it 5 941

Everyone can be a 7

By Olivia - 24/07/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I quit dating forever. I’m an overweight girl with glasses. I attempted to put flattering selfies on dating profiles, but the guys run from me or ghost me when I meet them in person. I took a friend’s advice and put honest, full body pics of myself. I got zero messages. None. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 353

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog

By Anonymous - 10/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, it's been a year since I met a guy online. We clicked almost immediately. Eventually we started dating, after proving who we are through many sources. Turns out he lied about his age after he conspired to make sure I was 100% in love with him before telling me the truth. He's legal but the age gap is uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 126

Sudden dip

By Anonymous - 17/03/2022 17:00 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were out for dinner. We were talking over the noise of the restaurant, when suddenly it got quiet as he shouted, “I can’t wait to fuck you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 337

Must've been a good joke

By HAIL SITHIS - 24/07/2015 18:54 - United States

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said, "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 218

You deserved it 3 279

First date, and probably the last

By DrunkGirl - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 780

You deserved it 63 405

Golddigger

By back to cock-hunting - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Burnaby

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 834

You deserved it 5 171

There's more than one subject available

By Anonymous - 17/03/2022 07:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, I realized how bad my social skills are when I finally landed a date with my crush. We sat down to lunch, and I asked her what her favorite Marvel movies were. She gave a flat, "I don't like those movies." and we deadass sat there in silence for ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 926

Bad date

By echolaker2019 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Scarsdale

Today, I had a second date with a really hot guy I met at the mall. Lucky for me, I went into anaphylactic shock from shrimp and the guy called my parents. When I left the hospital, I was notified that after he called my parents, he ordered more food and charged it to my credit card on file. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 359

You deserved it 1 762

Pleased to meet you

By Cookie Monster nom nom - 17/05/2021 15:01 - United States

Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 201

Mixed signals

By Mark - 27/03/2017 09:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 850

You deserved it 387

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 20:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 255

Surprise!

By Whyme - 30/06/2022 06:00

Today, I went on a date with my a man I’ve been seeing at a restaurant. I went to use the restroom. When I came back, he and my purse were gone. He won’t answer my phone calls or texts, and he blocked me on Instagram. I’ve been ghosted and robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 260

In a hurry

By bubbles - 10/06/2022 16:00

Today, my husband got home from a date, since he can't wait for our divorce to go through on account of his cheating. I literally put off medical school for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 188

Dating sucks

By Anonymous - 26/11/2021 19:59

Today, I had a horrible date with this guy I’ve been seeing. He wanted me to give it up, but I wasn’t ready, so he dumped me on the spot. I went home crying to my mother and her response was, “Stop being such a prude! What are you? Ten? Grow the fuck up!” Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 445

You deserved it 494

You can't handle the truth!

By Anonymous - 27/04/2023 00:00

Today, my friend told me she saw the girl I like at a single's night after I'd asked her out and rejecting me, for being in a complicated relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 261

Dating sucks

By Anonymous - 26/02/2023 06:00

Today, I spent three hours cleaning my apartment for a date. I then took a nap, only to wake up to find my cat had destroyed the place. Lucky for me, my date never showed up, and I ended the evening drinking Prosecco while sadly swiping through Tinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 167

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 18/03/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, I tried to impress my crush by ordering food in his "native tongue." He looked at me weirdly and said, "I'm from Ohio.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 2 036

Smooth

By vintage_vogue - 17/06/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I had a coffee date. The guy was waiting with coffee to meet me on the patio. I walked up to him, caught my favorite pendant necklace on the table, broke the necklace trying to get it free, and rattled the table so intensely that the guy's coffee spilled all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 269

You deserved it 7 457

Catfished

By Iman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 192

You deserved it 294 113

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 18:00

Today, I got slapped by a date because she thought I was making fun of her speech impediment. I wasn't making fun, I just have the same speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 124

Mixed signals

By Intheway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the guy I've been dating told me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 720

You deserved it 6 182

Stinker

By taman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 432

You deserved it 5 479

Fight, flight, or freeze

By Broken - 03/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, a guy approached me at a party. He made small talk and said he wanted to get to know me. I've had enough of men's bullshit after what my exes put me through, and chimed back with, "Why? So you can then leave me for someone else when you get bored with me?" I do this to every potential suitor, and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 801

Dating sucks

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 10:00

Today, my latest date ended so badly that I was back home by 8 p.m., drunk on cheap wine, and screaming at myself in the mirror, “What is wrong with you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 586

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 05/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 109

By beta - 08/01/2019 12:00

Today, my date unexpectedly brought her friend to dinner with us. They seemed bored of me after ten minutes and left me out of their conversation for the rest of the night. Oh, and they made me pay for both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 094

You deserved it 874

Smooth Operator

By kingpig - 02/02/2012 18:00 - Sweden

Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 064

You deserved it 3 764

Classic move

By rejecteddd - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. Right after I arrived there, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 570

You deserved it 5 200

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Kids Family Friends Miscellaneous Confused Toxic Love Pranks Scams Money Religion Cheating Parenting Dating NSFW Work Painful Cooking Health AITA Stalker My ex Coworkers Internet Relatable Pokémon Awkward Annoying Shopping Underwear

The Top

Today, I received a coupon for a special offer including flights and accommodation for the honeymoon destination that my fiancé and I are keen on. Yesterday, I paid the full price for the flight tickets and hotel deposit for the honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 533

You deserved it 2 657

Today, my brother, instead of filming me during my very first musical presentation in New York, took 45 pictures of the sexy trumpeter that was two rows behind me. With MY camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 087

You deserved it 426

Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 270

You deserved it 3 247

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 618

You deserved it 9 163

Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 972

You deserved it 20 675

Today, I took a deep breath and started journaling to "figure out my life." Two hours later, I had written four pages of ranting about my upstairs neighbor's loud footsteps and zero pages about my life goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 330