The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By kvb81295 - 21/07/2016 08:17

Today, my new girlfriend took me on a double date with her, her best friend and her best friend's new girlfriend. Which would have been fine, if her best friend's girlfriend wasn't my recent ex. The small world of a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 046

You deserved it 1 678

kvb81295 tells us more.

kvb81295 9

Friday 22 July 2016 16:56

Hey OP here, My ex an I didn't exactly end on good terms which is what was really awful. My ex had actually been seeing the girl for a little while before we broke up. She broke up with me because she had finally decided her new girlfriend was worth leaving me for. I had never met nor cared to who the girl she left me for was. I met my current girlfriend at a coffee shop a few weeks after. This was the first time I was meeting her best friend, and the first time my girlfriend was meeting her best friends girlfriend.

Not the expected outcome

By Thanksiguess - 19/02/2018 15:00

Today, I told my dad that I'm pregnant. He shook his head and said, sadly, "What a waste. You're way too young to throw your life away like this." Silly me; I was worried that at 46 I might be too old for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 023

You deserved it 406

Make him stop

By he’s just terrible at it! - 30/10/2018 03:00

Today, I had to finally accept that no amount of communication, directions, or diagrams will make my otherwise great boyfriend good at sex. When he's on top, he thrusts like the tin man with no oil. When I'm on top, he lays there like a sedated mattress. He refuses to try anything new. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 091

You deserved it 450

Odd couple

By poorpony - 29/11/2018 14:00

Today, I got on an elevator with a couple that started fighting about which sex outfit the guy should wear for their next roleplay. When they couldn't decide, they proceeded to show me all of the photos, including a My Little Pony outfit. I had to go up the next 22 floors with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 868

You deserved it 371

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 060

You deserved it 2 330

By i have failed so very badly - 07/04/2017 18:51 - United States - Syracuse

Today, I found out our eight-year-old son lied about his former babysitter beating him. The babysitter's already thrashed us on social media for believing our son, and now no one in town is willing to babysit for us. Looks like date night is cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 860

You deserved it 7 116

By Bibi - 16/07/2017 21:30 - Brazil - Brasilia

Today, I found out why a boy I like has been ignoring me since we went out for drinks the other night. I accidentally got too drunk and remember nothing except that I decided to play on my phone for awhile. The next day he wouldn't even talk to me and when I asked why, he told me that I had drunkenly revealed to him that I had multiple crushes, all of their names, and had showed him all of my conversations with them on WhatsApp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 349

You deserved it 7 410

By Justlooking - 28/07/2017 20:00

Today, my new husband of two weeks attempted to solicit sex from a hooker. He tried to excuse himself by saying, "I would never cheat on you! I was just looking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 452

You deserved it 593

By egsrox95 - 01/11/2017 00:30

Today, my best friend had the balls to call me an alcoholic. She snuck vodka on a cruise ship in a Listerine bottle. I've never had a drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 850

You deserved it 346

By Doglover - 02/11/2017 14:00

Today, I went jogging. It was cold but I dressed lightly because I overheat when I exercise. Unfortunately, I locked myself out. My wife returned four hours later to find me spooning our dog in the doghouse to keep from freezing to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 929

You deserved it 966

By otherdad? - 30/03/2018 19:00

Today, I tried to explain my 8-year-old son that my fiancée was going to be his stepmother. Little did I know, he watched Coraline last week. Now he thinks she's his "other mother" and won't go anywhere near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 866

You deserved it 448

YDI Fosho

By shuffling man - 12/08/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to try anal, praise the lord hallelujah. As we were getting into position, she let out a rancid fart she'd been saving for my face. Apparently it was revenge for me seeing Mamma Mia 2 without her while she was at work yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 430

You deserved it 4 090

By Anonymous - 10/05/2017 04:00

Today, my mom came in to hug me while I was sleeping, or so I thought. I woke up and tried to hug her back, only to find she had wrapped a tape measure around me. She was trying to measure my bust size to win a bet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 881

You deserved it 378

By Letteh - 19/05/2017 00:00

Today, my boyfriend transferred some money to me online. He put a joke reference of "Anal nice 'n cheap". We need to show a month-long bank statement to our mortgage broker tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 228

You deserved it 567

By Volcan - 01/06/2017 17:42 - France - Paris

Today, I was on my period and I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend. I told him upfront and he responded simply, “I work in a butcher shop, I’m used to having blood everywhere.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 1 866

How shocking!

By Anonymous - 04/03/2018 01:30

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put his dog shock collar on me to wake me in lieu of my alarm. You know how those cartoon characters look when they're electrocuted? That's exactly how I woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 468

You deserved it 389

By Jayanka - 03/05/2018 05:00

Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 181

You deserved it 609

By Anonymous - 12/05/2017 16:55

Today, I haven't been able to sleep for two nights due to cows mooing loudly somewhere nearby. I recently left the country to stay in the city. Which apparently has a higher cow population than my country home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 001

You deserved it 589

ErinShannon tells us more.

ErinShannon 27

Friday 5 May 2017 7:17

OP here, I'm not exactly sure why the hell they keep mooing. There is also a Rooster that likes to go off. I techinally don't live there ( visiting and staying with my Mum ) so I went back home to the country and it was magical, silence. No random cows.

By not anymore - 30/10/2015 23:29 - United States - Monroe

Today, I made a Facebook post about my upcoming driving test. My grandpa said he knew I would succeed, prompting my idiot boyfriend to reply "For sure, she really knows how to suck seed ;)" followed by him liking his own comment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 552

You deserved it 4 864