Miscellaneous: Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run... - FML

By kat9232000 - 19/06/2009 04:04 - Canada

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

agreeclassic 17 826

vote type 1 110 520

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By Anonymous - 20/02/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I realized I've been saying "Excuse me" to automatic sliding doors for the past week. They haven't responded yet, but I'll keep you posted on their social skills. FML

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By knoppad - 13/06/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/09/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/08/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I walked up to a store’s automatic doors. They didn’t open. I waved my arms, stepped back and forward again, nothing. A staff member came over, tapped a button, and said, “It’s manual.” FML

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By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 18:07

Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 05:40 - Canada

Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML

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By Harry123 - 01/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I was trying to be polite by holding the door for an elderly lady in a shop. What I didn’t realise was that the doors were automatic. I ended up standing there awkwardly for a good 5 seconds, holding onto thin air, while she just smiled and walked by. A bloke behind me said, “The doors don’t need your help, mate.” FML

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Guess I'm coming out in a Ford Focus

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - West End

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

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By thanksbro - 28/09/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML

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TOP COMMENTS

24788 6

Friday 19 June 2009 12:06

WTF were you trying to prove?

redbluegreen 40

Friday 19 June 2009 12:12

Older brothers will say anything to make you look like an idiot, and you can't move faster then the machine can do it's job. I can't believe you believed him.

Comments

halolord01 2

Friday 19 June 2009 12:24

LOL #3 is rite

staceybby 0

Friday 19 June 2009 12:24

Hahaha. Not really an FML, just funny.

smartsportsbabe 0

Friday 19 June 2009 12:28

Don't listen to brothers a and b who's dumb enough to try that it's called common sense

Prawn_fml 2

Friday 19 June 2009 12:28

Did you know that 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary?

peacelovepeaches 0

Friday 19 June 2009 13:13

did u know that if u say gullible backwards it sounds like fishstix? :D

regalarius 0

Friday 19 June 2009 14:16

:O it does!!

rising_sun 0

Friday 19 June 2009 22:48

LMFAO. Nice.

nicelyjohnson 0

Friday 19 June 2009 12:31

That's.... just plain dumb. YDI

FPsLife 5

Friday 19 June 2009 12:34

So how are you getting him back?

hillbilliebarbie 0

Friday 19 June 2009 12:37

LOL really? YDI

Iwannabetreo 11

Friday 19 June 2009 12:41

You cant trust older brothers. And you need to start thinking. :]

intrepid00 0

Friday 19 June 2009 12:55

Haha sending this to people that sell these doors.

flake_fml 0

Friday 19 June 2009 12:56

bahahahahahahaha, that is gold. p.s idiot

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