Miscellaneous: Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run... - FML

By kat9232000 - 19/06/2009 04:04 - Canada

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

agreeclassic 17 826

vote type 1 110 520

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Brain worms

By Anonymous - 20/02/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I realized I've been saying "Excuse me" to automatic sliding doors for the past week. They haven't responded yet, but I'll keep you posted on their social skills. FML

agreeclassic 361

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Let 'em in

By knoppad - 13/06/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/09/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

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Brain fart

By Anonymous - 15/08/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I walked up to a store’s automatic doors. They didn’t open. I waved my arms, stepped back and forward again, nothing. A staff member came over, tapped a button, and said, “It’s manual.” FML

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Alexa, play "Mr Loverman" by Shabba Ranks

By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 18:07

Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML

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Spatial awareness

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 20:00

Today, I walked up to what appeared to be an automatic door. I stood for a second, waved my arms, but nothing happened. Then a guy came from behind me, pushed a clearly visible button under a clearly visible sign that read "Push to open." He said, “It’s OK, happens to everyone.” It doesn’t feel like it does. FML

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On time

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 05:40 - Canada

Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML

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Such a gentleman

By Harry123 - 01/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I was trying to be polite by holding the door for an elderly lady in a shop. What I didn’t realise was that the doors were automatic. I ended up standing there awkwardly for a good 5 seconds, holding onto thin air, while she just smiled and walked by. A bloke behind me said, “The doors don’t need your help, mate.” FML

agreeclassic 145

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Guess I'm coming out in a Ford Focus

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - West End

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

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By thanksbro - 28/09/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML

agreeclassic 32 859

vote type 1 20 587

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TOP COMMENTS

24788 6

Friday 19 June 2009 12:06

WTF were you trying to prove?

redbluegreen 40

Friday 19 June 2009 12:12

Older brothers will say anything to make you look like an idiot, and you can't move faster then the machine can do it's job. I can't believe you believed him.

Comments

barfobulator 0

Friday 19 June 2009 17:56

You should have known that was completely bogus. Half the time you have to stop and wait for the door even when you're walking.

koneko12984 0

Friday 19 June 2009 18:01

lmao! that's what older brothers do best. i believe i pulled that one on a younger sibling a few times.

pjspelce 0

Friday 19 June 2009 18:04

O wow nub

alwaysalady 0

Friday 19 June 2009 18:19

Ouch. Win for your brother. Fail for you. THose auto doors are tricky. I have problems with a lot of them cuz I don't weigh enough to trip the sensor.

allisa182 0

Friday 19 June 2009 18:20

your brother is funnny

1234five 0

Friday 19 June 2009 18:24

You had it coming. Don't be so gullible next time

Serafie 0

Friday 19 June 2009 18:25

You idiot, of course he was trying to trick you. >_>

mikew85 0

Friday 19 June 2009 18:29

Also, gullible isn't in the dictionary, prove it to yourself by looking it up, it isn't there!!

TheLetterZero 7

Saturday 20 June 2009 1:19

Prove that it isn't there.

roflcopterzzz 0

Friday 19 June 2009 18:30

I expected this from an American, but a Canadian??? Come on.

medical 0

Friday 19 June 2009 18:45

That doesn't even sound plausible. Your an idiot and you deserved it big time. I hope they broke and you have to pay for them.

TheLetterZero 7

Saturday 20 June 2009 1:21

*facepalm*

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