Intimacy: Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked...

By Anonymous - 10/02/2010 12:23 - United States

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

agreeclassic 25 121

vote type 1 2 513

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

agreeclassic 34 525

vote type 1 4 182

Chubby life

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 18:00

Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML

agreeclassic 2 604

vote type 1 300

By oshitdonotwant - 08/08/2009 13:42 - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

agreeclassic 68 530

vote type 1 4 075

By madisonnkelly - 06/07/2015 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

agreeclassic 28 583

vote type 1 3 115

By The fat and the ugly - 27/10/2011 18:56 - Finland

Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML

agreeclassic 42 159

vote type 1 5 171

TMI Mom

By Why - 30/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I had the pleasure of listening to my mom tell me about how her and my dad's weight loss has helped them get more into it when they're being intimate. Suddenly I wish my parents were fat again. FML

agreeclassic 898

vote type 1 295

By florisvanlent - 12/02/2009 16:17 - Netherlands

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

agreeclassic 29 611

vote type 1 56 428

By Female_Lucifer - 20/10/2013 13:02 - United States - New Lebanon

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

agreeclassic 66 398

vote type 1 5 186

Creepy but funny

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 20:46 - Greece - Athens

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

agreeclassic 36 876

vote type 1 3 112

By peaaaak - 03/06/2011 10:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

agreeclassic 49 239

vote type 1 5 056

whiffleball 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 19:55

how do you know he got a hard on? are you checking out your dad's junk?

whitesoxsean 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 19:54

ur dads a pedo

Comments

Rhylin4 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:00

#3 how is he a pedo? she could be in college and over 18? I can't wait till I'm old enough to not care and stare at chicks bodies! yeeha!

Shesonfire94 2

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:01

haha this is more like f your friends life lmao so so srry

Emofluffinzhehe 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:02

perv dad superhero powers unite! form of- BESTIES BRA

EmoRanger0119 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:51

phaha emofluff

jim_bolicious 4

Sunday 30 September 2012 23:21

and now we play the waiting game.....

CallMeHush 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:03

Tell Dave to steer clear of him for a while.

KurouTenshi 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:05

basically: FYL for having a pedo dad who needs help/sex and YDI for even taking mote of your dads junk now bring on the fat/incest/3some jokes :D

vincespektor 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:49

Dude ur a ****. boners aren't exactly hard to miss

Alex373 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 1:49

wincest

Sk3ith 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:07

lol xP reminds me of American Beauty. loved tht movie

PsychoMerk 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 0:20

that movie is so effing awesome :0

christys25 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:08

wow, your dads a perv! lol!

FMLihatemylife 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:10

that sucks so bad

Whiterabbitm1 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:14

wow the is a little messed up... but you should give your Dad your friends number lol

namnams 3

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:15

WIN!!!!

youngbutwise15 5

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:16

Where's the World's Most Perverted Dad award when you need it?

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, at work, I overheard two of my coworkers talking about how "creepy" and "ugly" I am, and that I look like I'd be the kind of guy to sneak into someone's house and "have my way" with them. Boy, did that sure help with my self-esteem issues. I'm going to go and report them, but still. FML

agreeclassic 392

vote type 1 93

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

agreeclassic 23 941

vote type 1 2 262

Today, in gym class, we were doing leg exercises. Unsure how to do it, I somehow managed to kick the wall, lose my balance, faceplant, and break my ankle. FML

agreeclassic 3 887

vote type 1 706

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

agreeclassic 33 946

vote type 1 2 074

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

agreeclassic 28 695

vote type 1 5 507

Today, my girlfriend insisted on dressing me up in her clothes, to spice things up. After dolling me up in a dress, heels, wig, etc., she goes to the store for wine but left her key behind. Thirty minutes later, the doorbell goes, so I open it in all my feminine glory, only to see a UPS guy standing holding a parcel and not my girlfriend. FML

agreeclassic 1 065

vote type 1 831

Similar FMLs

Chubby life

TMI Mom

Creepy but funny

TOP COMMENTS

Comments