Work: Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service"...

By niiiiiiiiiikki - 08/01/2011 20:35 - United States

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

agreeclassic 27 534

vote type 1 2 497

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By Erik Aleckson - 05/05/2019 02:00

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 18:32 - Norway

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

agreeclassic 33 458

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By xricardo - 05/06/2010 00:52 - United States

Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML

agreeclassic 37 020

vote type 1 26 393

By Anonymous - 17/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

agreeclassic 37 990

vote type 1 4 048

Wobble wobble

By Dr.Octopus454 - 07/10/2011 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

agreeclassic 31 162

vote type 1 3 629

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:20 - Canada - Sherbrooke

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

agreeclassic 35 297

vote type 1 3 926

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

agreeclassic 35 160

vote type 1 3 009

By Men '86 - 24/07/2011 06:41 - Canada

Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML

agreeclassic 17 032

vote type 1 39 350

By babyeaternomnom - 30/06/2012 16:22 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

agreeclassic 27 911

vote type 1 2 331

He needs them more than you

By cjj325 - 20/03/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

agreeclassic 62 040

vote type 1 32 541

DocBastard 38

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:50

I see you don't have a "No pants, no service" policy. Fascinating.

alwa7sh 2

Sunday 9 January 2011 2:15

it's probably stevo filming jackass 4

Comments

sweet_candy_ 17

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:49

Woah where do you work at?

I_R_Genius 3

Sunday 9 January 2011 4:11

Oh god, I hope it wasn't Borat..

PuppiesFTW 5

Sunday 9 January 2011 5:49

You're so into the details :P

RockNRollAndrew 18

Wednesday 1 January 2014 17:44

Probobly WalMart

CRrawsum 7

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:50

that sounds incredibly sexy :]

DocBastard 38

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:50

I see you don't have a "No pants, no service" policy. Fascinating.

UpsidedownKayak 9

Sunday 9 January 2011 2:23

What an observation, Doc!

theian01 3

Sunday 9 January 2011 3:32

I always thought that. If you have no pants, you're free to go, right?

princessbits 17

Sunday 9 January 2011 5:54

It's probably because if a woman was wearing a dress she wouldn't be wearing pants.

Uscdrew1 7

Sunday 9 January 2011 7:26

26, you're wrong. They exclude the "No Pants" portion because of certain marine animals.

gabbygrace24 0

Monday 11 July 2011 1:27

lmfao i was gunna say the same thing

mmmPoptarts 6

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:51

Amazingly sexy

lizabethp 11

Sunday 9 January 2011 2:11

haha.. good ol Kansas!

WishResign 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 2:13

you know you wanted some of that dried, shriveled hot dog

alwa7sh 2

Sunday 9 January 2011 2:15

it's probably stevo filming jackass 4

giantsfan2010 23

Sunday 9 January 2011 2:20

Why are old people so creepy lately?

georggx 3

Sunday 9 January 2011 2:48

awww bless him!!

indigo1 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 3:05

dementia! dementia! dementia!!

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He needs them more than you

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