Health: Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in...

By lol - 05/12/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML

agreeclassic 31 543

vote type 1 9 271

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By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

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By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

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By Ted - 06/06/2019 18:00

Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML

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By flipflop - 07/06/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/09/2015 07:10 - United States - Queens Village

Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML

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By Madi - 30/11/2011 17:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

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By smelly asses - 17/09/2020 07:50

Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML

agreeclassic 1 179

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By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 21:00 - Canada - Terrace

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

agreeclassic 158

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By Mj - 20/07/2016 00:28 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

agreeclassic 11 777

vote type 1 4 287

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

agreeclassic 37 181

vote type 1 3 838

AsianCookie247 14

Monday 5 December 2011 11:37

You Are just now farting in front of him? ...

sariannacanna 6

Monday 5 December 2011 11:42

How did you survive for 26 years and never farting in front of him?!? Thats some extreme control *claps and nods* lol

Comments

heythereyouu_fml 4

Tuesday 6 December 2011 4:35

Well now u know not to fart in front of him...

needsagf14 12

Tuesday 6 December 2011 4:54

I thought women don't fart. My world=boooom

ashleys562165 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 6:00

How do u not fart for 26 years?!?!

general58 2

Tuesday 6 December 2011 6:05

you held a fart for 26years? I can't even imagine how long and smelly it was.

feisty1 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 6:33

You need to fart in front of them all much more often. Then it won't be such a big deal anymore.

nastyness 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 6:38

I can belch like a trucker, but haven't farted infront of my husband..and that was no easy task while pregnant!

Fozzy8989 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 6:42

sucks

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 6 December 2011 7:18

fart in front of them. that'll shut them up.

YoshiXclusive 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 7:38

Only athletes can do that. Like a boss!

slompy7 2

Tuesday 6 December 2011 8:04

Were u the small spoon?

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Today, I actually had to attend court for an unfair dismissal claim. The woman I fired had an attendance record of 70%, money is still missing from petty cash, and she was twice caught using a company laptop for online gambling, yet somehow it still made it to a courtroom as “unfair”. FML

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Today, I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend that I wanted to be spoon-fed, affectionately NOT sexually. I think it's something to do with my eating, my parents, and developmental issues. Now he won't stop claiming it's really a fetish. FML

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