Health: Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up...

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

agreeclassic 9 686

vote type 1 27 522

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 05:50 - United States

Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML

agreeclassic 11 680

vote type 1 30 923

Baked

By Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML

agreeclassic 89 537

vote type 1 15 624

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

agreeclassic 1 508

vote type 1 145

Pucker up

By It feels fucking awful - 18/12/2025 12:00

Today, on a whim, I decided to try to light a fart on fire. I now know how it feels to take a dump when you have a burn directly on your asshole. FML

agreeclassic 47

vote type 1 543

By foolmetwice - 16/05/2011 14:28

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

agreeclassic 22 105

vote type 1 40 120

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

agreeclassic 4 116

vote type 1 1 195

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

agreeclassic 24 495

vote type 1 6 973

Headshot

By home owner - 20/08/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

agreeclassic 32 768

vote type 1 3 367

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

agreeclassic 8 222

vote type 1 52 419

By teflon_hammer - 25/05/2016 23:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML

agreeclassic 11 936

vote type 1 1 207

biggestfan23 11

Monday 12 March 2012 15:40

I like burned butts and I cannot lie!

sqeakyclean 7

Monday 12 March 2012 15:51

What's the matter with you?

Comments

Fishfanatic 7

Monday 12 March 2012 19:33

And your shower does not have hot water why exactly?

bubo_fml 10

Monday 12 March 2012 19:59

Nothing wrong w/ toastin' buns on the grill...

mrmatt121 3

Monday 12 March 2012 20:03

take a hot shower ?

peterlikes 3

Monday 12 March 2012 20:14

Maybe yu should try some rectal jelly for yur butt..

j_cat187 19

Monday 12 March 2012 22:58

How does that help?

hateevryone 14

Monday 12 March 2012 21:30

didn't you take a hot shower?

Beckei 18

Monday 12 March 2012 22:54

Next time use your hair dryer to keep warm! Much easier :)

Minnesota_Chelse 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 15:57

I do that all the time! Feels so nice :)

sydneyaval 9

Monday 12 March 2012 23:16

Dumbass •_•

JBM3292 19

Tuesday 13 March 2012 0:01

That happened to me when I was four lmfao.

strawberryspacejam 11

Tuesday 13 March 2012 0:59

fucktard radar is going off like ****

BarDownDaily 12

Tuesday 13 March 2012 2:29

19- Just your house.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I got screamed at by a girl because I said I didn’t want to go on a date with her. I’m a gay man. FML

agreeclassic 1 730

vote type 1 202

Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML

agreeclassic 44 988

vote type 1 23 212

Today, I asked my girlfriend to prom. Instead of saying yes, she broke up with me. FML

agreeclassic 4 924

vote type 1 347

Today, I spent ages prepping, chopping, bagging and freezing lots of fruits and veggies for my mom. I also bought her a juicer and alkaline water to help combat some of her health issues. I walked into the kitchen to see her mixing her juice with vodka and rum instead of the water. FML

agreeclassic 1 307

vote type 1 280

Today, it's my birthday, and I was going over to my friend's house for dinner. When I walked in, everyone yelled, "Surprise!" and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me, she said, "Wrong person guys, turn off the lights." FML

agreeclassic 61 657

vote type 1 3 347

Today, my five year old niece decided to wake me up by shoving blasting earphones in my ears. Five hours later I can still hear Justin Bieber shrieking "Baby". FML

agreeclassic 39 445

vote type 1 5 354