Intimacy: Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and...

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 16:32 - United States

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

agreeclassic 12 248

vote type 1 37 174

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

agreeclassic 30 134

vote type 1 51 061

Bad sign

By Filing for divorce - 27/11/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML

agreeclassic 770

vote type 1 101

By Mrs. Ned - 09/09/2015 02:00 - United States - Incline Village

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

agreeclassic 28 970

vote type 1 3 105

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

agreeclassic 2 229

vote type 1 411

Happy anniversary!

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

agreeclassic 1 806

vote type 1 232

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML

agreeclassic 17 018

vote type 1 91 964

Surprise!

By Shobz - 26/10/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

agreeclassic 37 730

vote type 1 2 764

It's the thought that counts

By sadwife - 31/05/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML

agreeclassic 47 698

vote type 1 10 793

By Walk of Shame - 13/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML

agreeclassic 1 473

vote type 1 6 075

By PentiumBawls8 - 20/01/2010 22:38 - United States

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

agreeclassic 12 181

vote type 1 32 963

D_R_A_M_A 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:34

Wow, I think my mom works with you...

brinky09 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:14

Oh you're a smart one, aren't you? YDI for not noticing the button jammed in your back.

Comments

untoldfame 3

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:10

sorry, this isnt an FML. this is an MLIA.

youaresofucked 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 19:53

this isnt an FML - this is HOT

bobmandude 0

Sunday 16 May 2010 5:51

Brilliant. Also were there cameras inside said office perhaps? Giggity giggity

soul_fml 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 4:21

Wonder what the cowerkers were thinking

brinky09 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:14

Oh you're a smart one, aren't you? YDI for not noticing the button jammed in your back.

kevick93 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:09

I call fake

JetLiFanFTW 0

Saturday 3 April 2010 1:47

what's ydi

omgiitsme03 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 5:20

yeah I think this fml is a fake

VenomxD 0

Tuesday 20 July 2010 5:59

YDI for bein a nasty bitch that's just gross Dx

luke1998 0

Friday 4 March 2011 7:30

you dumb idiot

KRYPTON1T3 5

Friday 11 March 2011 6:20

or you deserved it.

D_R_A_M_A 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:34

Wow, I think my mom works with you...

powerslave117 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 6:30

that's hot...

OutlawISaBEAST 0

Friday 12 August 2011 1:52

It's a small world after all!

arnold38 1

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:37

nice celebration!

plum_lovin 28

Thursday 27 June 2013 8:58

This is an FML and a YDI.. you should be happy that you can always find a new job but not always have a happy marriage with a husband that brings you flowers on your anniversary.

Crunchy08 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:46

Sounds like the makings of a new office scandal. Fun stuff.

uchihasasuke 0

Friday 9 October 2009 0:10

wowww slutttty

blackrose01 6

Sunday 7 August 2011 6:32

Yes cuz having sex with your husband is slutty.

wrigglezeus 0

Friday 9 October 2009 0:26

it's not really slutty if it's her husband. it would be slutty if she cheated I believe it's an fml

jack185868 0

Friday 9 October 2009 0:45

that's hilarious.

doggie3 0

Friday 9 October 2009 0:47

It's definstley not slutty if it was her husband. But, yes, FML.

clayton18 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 8:19

Agreed its not sluty. It is a little kinky. but thats always fun! People need to opene their minds a little more to sex. Next time get on the floor or in the chair or something.