Love, Kids, Pranks and Parents: Protective

Protective

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 18:30 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

agreeclassic 57 944

vote type 1 5 412

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By sierraisfucked - 02/06/2009 07:55 - United States

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

agreeclassic 49 502

vote type 1 4 207

By MC - 15/08/2011 02:51 - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

agreeclassic 11 524

vote type 1 39 632

What the…?

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 05:00

Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML

agreeclassic 569

vote type 1 135

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

agreeclassic 26 536

vote type 1 2 993

By blah - 21/07/2011 14:10 - United States

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

agreeclassic 37 728

vote type 1 3 068

Denial

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

agreeclassic 39 189

vote type 1 3 220

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 14:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

agreeclassic 20 432

vote type 1 29 417

By geeb - 23/02/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

agreeclassic 9 601

vote type 1 36 526

By KayKay - 23/09/2016 06:33 - United States - Ware

Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML

agreeclassic 13 418

vote type 1 1 384

By Anonymous - 23/11/2016 16:58

Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML

agreeclassic 9 487

vote type 1 1 033

redhedsaysrawr 18

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:10

Troll mom is winning

Harpy20 24

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:10

Twat swat level: EXPERT.

Comments

bridgetv25 8

Thursday 27 December 2012 20:39

Wtg mom!!!

StEpHiE1226 12

Thursday 27 December 2012 20:44

Your mom sounds awesome op lol

leadwithlove 1

Thursday 27 December 2012 21:50

Twat swatter

leadwithlove 1

Thursday 27 December 2012 21:50

Twat swatter

Sakaea 22

Friday 28 December 2012 0:15

I'm really hoping your mom had a reason for doing that other than being a bitch.

sugoine 12

Friday 28 December 2012 2:18

That is DAMN funny!!!!

Homer1975 14

Friday 28 December 2012 9:51

You have a nice mom

aj9090 9

Friday 28 December 2012 10:09

blocker!

SlickRick12002 7

Friday 28 December 2012 13:25

Your mother is a **** blocking master sorry o.p.

dlas 5

Friday 28 December 2012 20:02

Too bad for you, but hey thats the funniest move I ever heard hahahahaha sorry.....

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

agreeclassic 53 358

vote type 1 16 372

Today, I found out the reason why my cat would sometimes go outside for days at a time was because when she would go out, my neighbor would lure her in with cat treats and keep her there for up to 2 days. She's an indoor cat now. FML

agreeclassic 21 985

vote type 1 2 082

Today, my husband sped my car up to 80 in a 30, and almost crashed, which would have killed us both. What did I do to set him off? I played a song he didn't like. FML

agreeclassic 1 065

vote type 1 163

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

agreeclassic 39 768

vote type 1 3 576

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

agreeclassic 18 595

vote type 1 34 965

Today, I finally learned why the application of lasers, acids, liquid nitrogen and witchcraft never did any good on the huge warts on my hands. Apparently, it's a genetic disease and not a virus. For unknown reasons, I've recently grown the normal viral kind too. On my tongue. FML

agreeclassic 34 034

vote type 1 4 278

Protective

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