Work: Gun control

Gun control

By grant b - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

agreeclassic 35 723

vote type 1 6 165

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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By Anonymous - 11/07/2012 05:29 - United States - Dallas

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

agreeclassic 26 028

vote type 1 9 884

By HelpMe1 - 06/11/2014 06:53 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

agreeclassic 36 270

vote type 1 2 956

By corey - 28/02/2012 03:41 - United States

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML

agreeclassic 30 274

vote type 1 2 337

Seize the means of production

By vikts - 29/05/2012 17:52 - Luxembourg - Olm

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

agreeclassic 23 360

vote type 1 1 961

Sure, come on in…

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - La Mesa

Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML

agreeclassic 21 677

vote type 1 1 662

By Sudokori - 07/09/2017 01:30

Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML

agreeclassic 4 267

vote type 1 270

Tonight, on Asshole Bosses…

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 22:00

Today, I went to pick up my last paycheck, since I was fired last week. My boss said he wasn't going to give it to me. I told him it's illegal not to, and he told me with a shit-eating grin, "What are you gonna do? Arrest me?" FML

agreeclassic 2 044

vote type 1 140

Lay the blame

By jobless - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed afterwards that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML

agreeclassic 34 364

vote type 1 2 889

MVP

By Killmenow - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing, and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML

agreeclassic 33 057

vote type 1 2 853

Know your place

By Anonymous - 06/12/2014 18:23 - United States

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

agreeclassic 32 506

vote type 1 9 056

visiON123 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 12:05

Isn't that's how everyone is paid in Texas?

Valentina_Baby 7

Thursday 9 June 2011 12:08

And that's how you survive the zombie apocalypse

Comments

shadowpeanut 6

Thursday 9 June 2011 15:57

that's awsome!

mea_iloveskiing 26

Thursday 9 June 2011 15:58

first take the gun and then the money :)

DankyStank7 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 16:04

you better take that!!

schwingy 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 16:07

I would take that offer any day!

schwingy 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 16:07

I would take that offer any day!

laughsalot512 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 16:09

take it

missjennababe 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 16:15

to which I'd reply, "OF COURSE!"

psycho456 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 16:25

win

redrat 5

Thursday 9 June 2011 16:30

TAKE THE OFFER

Firebalone 13

Thursday 9 June 2011 16:34

Well at least he didn't say he'd pay you in gum! ;)

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Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML

agreeclassic 40 165

vote type 1 2 754

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML

agreeclassic 47 579

vote type 1 2 591

Today, I took my clothes off for a shower at an RV campsite. I started running the water when I noticed there was a pack of hornets in the bathroom. I stood there, stark naked, waiting for a chance to get out, for four hours. FML

agreeclassic 43 081

vote type 1 5 636

Today, my husband turned down a six figure job offer because he thinks it will be too difficult to learn to speak German. German is my native language, he already speaks some German from being married to me for 16 years, but somehow becoming fully fluent isn’t worth 6 figures to him. FML

agreeclassic 504

vote type 1 115

Today, a repairman woke me up so he could change the filter in my furnace. This would have been fine, except he didn't wake me up until he was already in my room, where I was sleeping naked. FML

agreeclassic 30 303

vote type 1 4 647

Today, my aunt informed me that my cousin's only problem with his girlfriend is that she's not me. FML

agreeclassic 2 432

vote type 1 165