Stalker

WHO ARE YOU?

By Targeted - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 212

You deserved it 2 903

By beablue18 - 04/07/2011 00:27 - Germany

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 793

You deserved it 2 995

Creeped out

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Coraopolis

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 873

You deserved it 7 874

Freaky and scary

By Creeped Out - 12/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Witham

Today, I received a message from a weird guy that's been stalking me online. Apparently, he travelled 4 hours last weekend to go to the same event as me, just to stare at me. He knew a LOT of details. He never spoke to me because that would "have been weird". I don't know what he looks like, so didn't recognise him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 130

Up to no good, sonny Jim ?

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 10:00

Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 162

Instadrama

By etahrabayraa - 27/06/2020 08:08

Today, I was stalking a popular girl from my high school's account and my phone went bonkers. It looks like I liked and disliked the same video of hers over and over. I disabled my Instagram account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 1 654

Bad choice of material, dude

By screwed - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I told my on and off girlfriend as a joke that I stalked her two years ago. She didn't believe me. When I say she didn't believe me, I mean she didn't believe it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 2 377

Subway creeper

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 18:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 941

Oh, hi Sharon!

By graveyard-sh*t - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend showed up at my new job to, "Keep an eye on me." The same ex-girlfriend who has been stalking me since we broke up. Two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 376

You deserved it 265

Long time coming

By Anonymous - 14/05/2022 14:00

Today, I got turned down for my dream job. Why? Because my ex phoned the company and told them how bad I would be for the job. He phoned me and said, "Now you know how it feels to be turned down." We dated for 2 weeks, 11 years ago. I'm now married and haven't spoken to him since we broke up, so I guess he's been stalking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 145

Creepy

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 08:47 - Canada

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently duplicated my keys before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering, “He looks like Jesus.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 442

You deserved it 3 674

Just his type

By idekwtfigo - 23/03/2022 14:00

Today, I stalked my boyfriend's ex again. I have come to the realization that I look just like her. I’m that girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 1 021

Weird dude

By Anonymous - 09/04/2019 12:00

Today, I found out that the threatening and insulting messages I received from my boyfriend's "stalker ex" were actually sent by him. Why? Because he cheated and he didn't want to admit it. I'm dating a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 383

You deserved it 251

Weirded out

By CreepyPaperDoll - 05/11/2009 06:36 - United States

Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 996

You deserved it 3 974

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 20/07/2023 07:00 - Canada - Moncton

Today, I decided to reach out to someone I'd met randomly. I found them on social media and sent them a message. After telling my SO, he pointed out that that was stalking. I'm a creep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 875

Snoopy

By No way - 16/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I liked one of my crush’s Instagram post from 2012 while stalking his profile. Despite me realising my mistake and un-liking the post, he immediately followed me back, and sent me a DM saying, “Wow, that’s some deep digging.” I’m now referred to as his "creepy stalker archaeologist of Instagram." FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 551

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 583

You deserved it 44 895

He's one of those people

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Sudbury

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 822

You deserved it 3 264

Unlucky in love

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 10:00 - United States - Martinsburg

Today, it was supposed to be my first date with a girl I've been speaking to for three months. Last night, she revealed that she's still married, that her husband is "not so bad", and then confessed it all to him and blocked me. It was gonna be my first date in six years, after the last one stalked me across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 165

Am I the asshole?

By Anon - 22/05/2023 22:00

Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 243

Joe's at it again

By bourneenemy - 19/01/2022 11:01 - United States - Pico Rivera

Today, same as recently, there's some guy constantly standing in front of my building waiting for me to come out, just to stare at me and then get mad when I walk to my car, to the store, to the bank, and even followed me into the lobby to see what floor I get off at, like a weirdo. What should I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 152

Introverted clumsiness

By I'm a fucking idiot!!! And I suck at using discord. Going back to tumblr. - 09/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Concord

Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 178

Oh, hai Mark!

By Erika - 05/05/2019 14:00

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 459

Creeped out

By emoney - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 655

You deserved it 3 777

Jan-Michael Vincent? Heather Locklear?

By Anonymous - 29/04/2022 22:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a creepy stalker blog dedicated to some minor celebrity from the '80s that I’ve never heard of. When I asked him about it, he accused me of spying on his private life, even though the blog is there on the internet for anyone to read, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 152

Call the cops

By sacrophage - 28/02/2010 04:30 - Canada

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 800

You deserved it 2 897

Believe in the Q

By Q Hub - 14/10/2021 14:00

Today, I found out my 36 year-old wife has been cyberstalking an 18 year old-girl for a week. Why? Because the girl doesn’t believe in QAnon. I found out when my wife’s online business started getting backlash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 106

Big Brother

By Maui_Diddy - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, an old fling said she regretted her previous choice and wanted to try again, so I happily accepted. She failed to tell me that her previous choice was crazy. Not only is he stalking her, but he's also stalking me, and sending her messages about who I'm with and what I'm doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 220

You deserved it 439

I'm innocent!

By ostfae - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 226

You deserved it 2 336

Don't be that guy

By Anonymous - 19/04/2022 03:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was set up on my first blind date since my divorce. My expectations were low, but when she showed up, she was a smoking hot. She was way out of my league, she was delightful and kind throughout the date, but my low confidence shined through. That night she acquired an expensive dinner and a stalker. Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 1 462

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 398

You deserved it 1 282

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 320

You deserved it 14 755

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 112

You deserved it 6 263

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 632

You deserved it 5 211

Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 3 837

Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 79