Love

By Munch - 12/09/2017 04:00 - Australia - Mordialloc

Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 332

You deserved it 910

Ungrateful

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 18:00

Today, I did the whole 'rose petals, takeaway Chinese, favourite wine, and movie' thing. As soon as my wife got home, she said, “Great, now I have to sweep up rose petals, I’m not in the mood for Chinese, I was saving that wine, and I watched that movie last week.” I officially give up even trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 385

You deserved it 289

Depends how old you are

By SocialSuicide - 17/06/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, after I met a guy online and we'd became fast friends, talking every day about everything, things got flirty after half a year of talking. A year in, I finally got the time to meet up with him. It turns out he lied about his age. He's 8 years younger and in college. I fell head over heels. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 356

Thanks you for your service

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 18:00

Today, I got back from an 8-month deployment ready for relaxation and lots of sex with my husband. He said he’s come to realise he likes living alone, didn’t miss me much, and hasn’t been looking forward to me coming home. He gave me divorce papers and kicked me out to go sleep in a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 186

Sucks to suck

By youfuckingdumbassmum - 27/12/2012 23:20 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I was texting my mother after my boyfriend broke off our relationship. She offered incredibly supportive replies such as "No, really?" and "Aww, that sucks." before apparently getting bored and claiming she had to go because her "text reception" was breaking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 727

You deserved it 4 900

He certainly has a type

By tattooed - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend told me one of the main reasons he started dating me was because I have the same name as his ex, whose name he has tattooed on his back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 130

You deserved it 3 859

By nightxxtime - 10/01/2017 14:39

Today, the guy I'm dating was supposed to come over. He would have if I hadn't fell asleep while he was waiting for me to open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 843

You deserved it 3 457

Worst plan ever

By UGHWHaY - 08/08/2023 00:02

Today, I managed to get pregnant on purpose, in hopes to get my cheating boyfriend to stop seeing his side piece. Turns out he’s "not ready to be a dad" and prefers the homewrecking skank and left. Now I’m stuck with rent I can’t afford by myself, and a baby I don’t even want anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 5 150

Repetitive

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 04:01

Today, my husband stormed out to the pub because he couldn’t stand listening to my mother droning on and on about the same stories she always tells and the programmes she watches everyday. He didn’t think of taking me with him, so I had to stay and listen to the boring old bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 803

By flowerfail - 16/06/2009 09:13 - United States

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 732

You deserved it 4 990

By anonymous - 07/03/2010 19:20 - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is getting engaged. He broke up with me five months ago because our relationship was too serious for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 942

You deserved it 2 779

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 15:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 849

You deserved it 7 848

By YouAREthefather - 18/03/2010 16:48 - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 438

You deserved it 3 858

By Anonymous - 06/09/2018 15:00

Today, my girlfriend turned down my marriage proposal because the ring I gave her was bigger than the one her sister got at her proposal. Apparently she wouldn't be able to brag to her sister without "looking like a bitch for having a bigger ring". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 287

Creepy

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 08:47 - Canada

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently duplicated my keys before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering, “He looks like Jesus.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 445

You deserved it 3 674

By Queenbee26 - 23/11/2017 21:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me when his so-called "ways to turn me on" didn't work. What were these ways? Flicking my nips and inserting his finger in my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 279

You deserved it 552

Don't look back

By downbad - 02/06/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I looked at my ex’s Instagram stories and found out that during our relationship, she was taking her now boyfriend to all the places I'd showed her. They’ve lasted way longer than we did, and she’s the one who left me. Seems like she liked how I treated her, just not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 120

By Lonely Gay - 22/02/2012 09:37 - United States

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 537

You deserved it 5 403

By hannahisacooler - 16/07/2013 23:41 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 372

You deserved it 3 884

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 955

You deserved it 4 016

The GOAT

By stunned - 15/03/2010 15:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 928

You deserved it 3 966

That explains that

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I checked my ex's profile for the first time since we broke up a few months ago. He's dating a girl who's so pretty, and he looks so happy. He started dating her about 3 weeks after we broke up and when I broke up with him he wasn't upset at all. He had been ignoring me for weeks, and forgot our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 273

Reasoning

By okay then - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Avon Lake

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 699

You deserved it 3 620

By KarlwithaK - 19/05/2009 03:29 - United States

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 995

You deserved it 4 177

Lookalikes

By RonnieG - 22/07/2013 22:30 - United States - Orlando

Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 151

You deserved it 14 154

Let's go girls

By skid - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Champaign

Today, I took part in a bouquet toss. The "single ladies" consisted of myself and several girls under the age of ten. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 355

You deserved it 3 201

Betrayal

By Anonymous - 27/07/2023 21:00 - Canada - Peterborough

Today, after 10 hours of radio silence, my boyfriend of one month, who pursued me for almost a year and spent the last two days at my sister's wedding weekend being introduced to my family, wants to give his ex another chance after sleeping with her during their "talk about their arrangements for their son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 276

By lonelyheart4ever - 13/08/2016 01:58 - United States - Norman Park

Today, a man finally was flirting with me in a supermarket checkout lane, even offering to help unload my groceries onto the conveyor. Turns out he was just distracting everyone so his partner in crime could steal $200 from the cash register. I had to give a witness statement to the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 344

You deserved it 1 485

Hicks

By >_< - 30/08/2013 22:56 - United States - Richmond

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 660

You deserved it 6 337

By SadBride - 08/09/2015 00:39 - United States

Today, my in-laws decided they were going to stay an extra week during our vacation to Dominican Republic next year. This would be fine, if we weren't travelling for our destination wedding, and the extra week wasn't our honeymoon. They are literally joining us on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 386

You deserved it 2 505

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 641

You deserved it 2 710

Today, my husband got home from a date, since he can't wait for our divorce to go through on account of his cheating. I literally put off medical school for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 188

Today, I caught my mother telling my 11-year-old daughter that if she wants to be happy in life, she needs to start exercising now, because fat can creep up on you, and rich guys never marry fat girls with nice personalities. I was fuming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 098

You deserved it 348

Today, I found out that the medication that's been free to me and has given me no noticeable side effects will be $1500 a month for my new insurance. This is a medication used to prevent my MS relapses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 761

You deserved it 144

Today, I found out why my B&B host looked so pissed this morning. I remember having too much red wine and puking out the window last night. Turns out the lampshade underneath the window spread my puke all over the freshly painted wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 2 095

Today, I took my daughter to get the expensive pixie cut she’s been "dying" for. As soon as we got home, my husband burst into hysterical laughter and pointed out that she looks exactly like he did in high school. Now she’s sobbing and begging for either a wig or even more expensive extensions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 233