Love: Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after... - FML

By flowerfail - 16/06/2009 09:13 - United States

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

agreeclassic 43 731

vote type 1 4 989

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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By Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

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Greetings

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Today, I was going out to buy some stuff from the store. As I was leaving, my mom warned me to tie my shoelaces; I told her not to worry about it. As I'm walking down the street, I see my crush walking towards me. As I get closer and say hi, I trip on my shoelaces and face-plant into her chest. FML

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Today, after cleaning my mom’s bathroom, I wiped the molding strip along the wall so it was even. A quite precariously-hung potted plant thought that reason enough to fall right on top of me, spreading dirt over the entire room as well as my hair, my sweater, and the inside of my bra. FML

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Fitness time

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, after finally getting over my ex, it felt like it was time to climb back into the dreaded dating pool. I also recognized that I need to get in shape to maximize my chances, so I went running. Half a mile in, I tripped over my own feet, landed face-first in a bush, and had to walk home covered in leaves. FML

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Slasher

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Sylvania

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

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By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

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By Karl - 21/02/2011 11:43

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 34 769

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

munchy35 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:09

well don't wait outside next time? wait until he knocks on your door or something.

justmyluck1212 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:11

@ least u smelled gr8

Comments

xHaniffax 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:08

Clutz FYL

leero 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:08

real smooth

munchy35 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:09

well don't wait outside next time? wait until he knocks on your door or something.

soya_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:11

hahaha fyl

justmyluck1212 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:11

@ least u smelled gr8

Kurtis123 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:12

Aww noo that sucks, did you manage to sort things out with him though and have a nice date in the end?

seriesofevents 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:13

n'aww that sucks.

getwild 0

Tuesday 20 April 2010 7:43

#8 is a complete loser for liking the **** brothers

IAmTheCamel 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:14

Haha. #6!

Makinitez 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:16

Amazing. Maybe he likes the smell of a crappy date?

ck_dancer 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:18

awww poor you. YLIF

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Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML

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vote type 1 305

Today, I've owned my dream car for 11 days. Someone backed into it while it parked at work, and drove away without leaving a note. A man at a nearby business knows who did it but won't tell me because it was one of his customers. FML

agreeclassic 16 430

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Today, I also needed to add, "Does not currently live in a psychiatric hospital, after being declared 'Not criminally responsible for a crime'" to my list of qualities that I want in a man. FML

agreeclassic 22 745

vote type 1 2 237

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

agreeclassic 26 588

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Today, my mom’s rescue dog snarled at me in an especially nasty way when I passed his bed. Turns out he stole mom’s purse, opened the zipper, and was now lying in a cozy nest of paper money. He was not at all amused by us trying to steal his treasure back. FML

agreeclassic 391

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Today, I just turned 40 and have gone teetotal, had no birthday party due to having burned all my bridges with friends and the community in my 20s, and now me and my cat are both scratching non-stop because my apartment seems to have an infestation of dust mites. FML

agreeclassic 510

vote type 1 896