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xxxmylife

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Xxxmylife's favorite FMLs

By Flicker - 14/05/2009 07:23 - Australia

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

agreeclassic 473

vote type 1 51

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 11:38 - United States

Today, I learned that when the power goes out at my house, my family thinks you can no longer flush the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 32 664

vote type 1 3 264

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

agreeclassic 20 058

vote type 1 35 421

By prostitutes boyfriend - 21/10/2011 14:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

agreeclassic 56 425

vote type 1 4 406

By boopadoop - 20/10/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

agreeclassic 48 261

vote type 1 5 560

BoopADoop app_comment_confession_title

BoopADoop 9

Friday 21 October 2011 2:47

It was only like two seconds later