lexiiloowho

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Lexiiloowho's favorite FMLs

By Ew?Really? - 04/08/2014 05:42 - United States - Montrose

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

agreeclassic 48 113

vote type 1 4 994

Nice try, Steve

By betrayed - 16/07/2014 20:09 - United States - Portland

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

agreeclassic 61 692

vote type 1 4 601

By chumman - 06/05/2014 13:55 - United States - New York

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

agreeclassic 58 185

vote type 1 20 932

Awful line of inquiry

By teddyissmall - 14/04/2014 06:29 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

agreeclassic 56 088

vote type 1 7 436