dominicwd

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Dominicwd's favorite FMLs

By hahahehehohohoo - 07/02/2009 03:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

agreeclassic 324 603

vote type 1 58 702

WAKEY WAKEY

By izaya - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Muskogee

Today, I woke up with a electric dog collar on my neck. I wouldn't have noticed it until my stepfather turned the collar to the highest intensity just to wake me up. FML

agreeclassic 27 931

vote type 1 2 220

Squelching the night away

By alison - 04/07/2015 05:02 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

agreeclassic 34 074

vote type 1 4 963

By mirandale - 02/07/2015 05:53 - United States - Durham

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to see me and told me that he had a surprise for me. I was excited at the idea of a romantic gesture, but forgot about it until he arrived and things began heating up. As I was removing his pants, I said, "Ooh, you shaved!" to which he replied, "Surprise!" FML

agreeclassic 28 745

vote type 1 4 598

mirandale app_comment_confession_title

mirandale 7

Friday 3 July 2015 4:06

Hi, everyone! OP here. I made an account so I could post a follow up. (: Three hundred characters is pretty short to explain the whole thing, but basically since we hadn't seen each other for several weeks, my boyfriend and I both decided to think of something romantic we could do this weekend to surprise the other with. I actually thought his first surprise was hilarious - but he wasn't serious! I get my "real" surprise tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it! Thanks for all the comments, guys!

By Partners - 22/06/2015 19:55 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

agreeclassic 28 837

vote type 1 3 409