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Izzyyyy

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Izzyyyy's favorite FMLs

By ITguy1982 - 28/05/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML

agreeclassic 35 638

vote type 1 60 602

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Thursday 28 May 2009 21:26

Just got back from the hospital. Needed 8 stitches to close everything back up again. I had to postpone the date. Hopefully she'll be willing to wait a few weeks for me to heal up. I now have to put my sack in a plastic zip lock bag when I take a shower in order to prevent the area from getting wet.

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By Alicia - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

agreeclassic 32 438

vote type 1 6 371

By ilovesocks - 20/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

agreeclassic 31 986

vote type 1 6 463

By OhGeez - 08/06/2009 19:41 - Canada

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

agreeclassic 92 064

vote type 1 22 744

By KBO - 08/06/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

agreeclassic 33 077

vote type 1 43 464