JohnnySucks

0
Followed

0
Followers

0
Badges!

5
Comments

228
Visits

57
Favorites

hell hole, USA
32 years-old
Friday 10 December 1993
complicated

A propos de Johnnysucks

I'm just me. I try to live like a jellyfish and float on.

Johnnysucks - Followers

Johnnysucks - Followed

Johnnysucks's page visits

lovers5201

Fucked!

Johnnysucks's FML badges

3_badgename

3_badgedesc

49_badgename

49_badgedesc

48_badgename

48_badgedesc

47_badgename

47_badgedesc

45_badgename

45_badgedesc

44_badgename

44_badgedesc

24_badgename

24_badgedesc

16_badgename

16_badgedesc

15_badgename

15_badgedesc

14_badgename

14_badgedesc

13_badgename

13_badgedesc

10_badgename

10_badgedesc

9_badgename

9_badgedesc

5_badgename

5_badgedesc

4_badgename

4_badgedesc

61_badgename

61_badgedesc

badgeslisttofind

Johnnysucks's favorite FMLs

By harshdoobie - 18/01/2012 15:18 - Canada

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

agreeclassic 33 162

vote type 1 3 362

By anonymous - 14/03/2012 05:18 - Canada

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

agreeclassic 31 077

vote type 1 14 194

Broke boy

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

agreeclassic 28 469

vote type 1 3 881

By Kovu - 27/02/2012 07:08 - Reserved

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

agreeclassic 26 292

vote type 1 2 938

Kovu_fml app_comment_confession_title

Kovu_fml 16

Monday 27 February 2012 20:39

He wasn't in pain. He inhales everything he eats. He as thyroid issues so hes not allowed to eat alot so poor baby is always trying to steal food. :(

By SwimminginSweat - 27/02/2012 05:12 - United States

Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML

agreeclassic 26 194

vote type 1 4 519