devyn0426

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Baytown, USA
40 years-old
Friday 26 April 1985
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A propos de Devyn0426

I have about 5 or 6 FMLs a day... some not as bad as the ones on here, but pretty bad...

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Fucked!

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Devyn0426's favorite FMLs

Crime scene

By isuckatlife - 22/02/2009 03:16 - United States

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

agreeclassic 56 163

vote type 1 5 906

By OakStake - 08/12/2013 22:07 - United States - New York

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

agreeclassic 60 332

vote type 1 3 427

Mutilated

By MissYouPieceOfSkin - 27/11/2013 08:44 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

agreeclassic 35 973

vote type 1 16 730

By Cian_1 - 25/11/2013 11:22 - United Kingdom - Cholsey

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

agreeclassic 38 077

vote type 1 29 490

Cian_1 app_comment_confession_title

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Tuesday 26 November 2013 8:08

What else am I to call something that keeps saluting me? ;D

Long road ahead

By Catcrap! - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Rialto

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

agreeclassic 47 635

vote type 1 6 516