Rainette_fml

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Rainette_fml's favorite FMLs

Punished

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

agreeclassic 49 448

vote type 1 23 079

By actually just constipated.. and stupid - 04/03/2015 15:03 - Tunisia

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

agreeclassic 26 383

vote type 1 38 042

By konacoffee17 - 14/12/2014 05:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

agreeclassic 33 702

vote type 1 3 079

Nice dodge

By UTRejected - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

agreeclassic 34 975

vote type 1 3 980

By HeckIfIKnow - 22/10/2014 03:36 - United States - Thousand Oaks

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

agreeclassic 33 819

vote type 1 6 292

HeckIfIKnow app_comment_confession_title

HeckIfIKnow 3

Friday 24 October 2014 2:52

So I never figured it out (although I'm pretty sure it wasn't the God of Farts) but the computer was really old anyway, so I'm just gonna borrow my mom's / use the one allotted to me at work until I can afford a new one. Thanks for the suggestions!