The Top

Thank you, DocBastard. Also, I'm not one of those crazy Americans portrayed on television who feels the need to sue for everything. First off, maintenance is admitting the fixed something wrong. Second, I've made some pretty big mistakes in my life too. Third, I'd rather not put the apartment complex whet I live in any financial turmoil, I like it here and I need a place to live.

Model behavior

By anonymous - 15/04/2013 01:07 - United States - La Pine

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 961

You deserved it 5 177

Oh oh, he's back

By fubuggie - 14/06/2013 05:57 - United States - Saint Albans

Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable man approached me. He ended up telling me that the Statue of Liberty is sexist and a screw-up by Washington. When I told him that the French made it, he told me to shut up and complained to my manager. He knows me by name now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 563

You deserved it 5 051

By erase_my_ears - 27/10/2015 02:41 - United States

Today, my two moms were telling some fairly obscene jokes about their sex life. When I told them to stop making such vulgar jokes, they turned to me and said, "What makes you think we were joking?" They then clarified that they were in fact being completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 880

You deserved it 3 264

erase_my_ears tells us more.

erase_my_ears 16

Monday 4 January 2016 6:51

Op here, I appreciate the support and understanding from all of u! I'm so sorry that happened to u a lot #68. I laughed at some of the more perverted comments and their responses, and I appreciate that no one has made any homophobic remarks. My parents weren't being too graphic, but they were making a lot of inferences and putting on the moves. It was not fun. Keep up all the hilarious comments! I can't believe this got accepted!!! XD

By sad guy - 26/04/2013 05:20 - United States

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 361

You deserved it 3 119

By ishouldhavebeenbornrich - 14/09/2016 16:28

Today, at work, a man wanted to buy a garden hose which came up on the till as £1.99. He said that it was wrong and that it should be £1.89, so he then demanded that I call someone down to set it right. He held 20 customers up for 15 minutes to get 10p off a garden hose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 592

You deserved it 1 245

By ChildishKeynote - 02/08/2015 19:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was at the gym playing basketball. A very attractive girl chose me to be on her team. We were playing well and hitting it off. I had decided to ask for her number after the game, until I smashed the ball in her face, resulting in her having a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 377

You deserved it 3 446

ChildishKeynote tells us more.

ChildishKeynote 13

Monday 3 August 2015 16:35

Thank you for your support guys. I can confirm that she in fact hates my guts at this moment in time

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 156

You deserved it 5 098

By failingyetagain - 20/07/2015 22:17 - United Kingdom - Barrow Upon Soar

Today, I was doing my first shift waitressing in a café. Not an hour in, I'd already spilt tea over somebody and dropped two whole meals. Looks like this won't last much longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 341

You deserved it 4 528

By Telemarket - 04/04/2012 10:58 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 509

You deserved it 2 248

By Anonymous - 04/04/2014 19:02 - Canada - Markham

Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 192

You deserved it 3 689

By Around - 23/05/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, after doing a graveyard shift at work, I took the bus home. I fell asleep on the way and woke up 25 miles away from my bus stop. I took another bus heading back and couldn't stay awake. I then woke up where I started from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 139

You deserved it 14 120

By EyesofStone - 01/06/2016 01:03 - United States

Today, I decided to work on my social anxiety by ordering some food. I waited in line, practicing my order in my head all the way. When I got to the front, I said my order with no mistakes. The cashier just stared blankly at me until I mumbled, "Never mind..." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 199

You deserved it 1 612

By Andrew - 02/01/2014 23:49 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 121

You deserved it 8 588

Here I go again

By Anonymous - 03/01/2013 05:02 - United States - Austin

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on the 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 061

You deserved it 10 132

By noneoftheabove - 28/01/2009 05:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to buy some Ibuprofen and got asked for ID. You have to be over 16 to buy it. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 553

You deserved it 3 027

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 12:12 - United States

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 466

You deserved it 2 144

By R281780 - 14/02/2016 15:53 - United States - San Jose

Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 459

You deserved it 4 176

By pasquale - 20/09/2014 06:54 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 077

You deserved it 5 637

By oops - 27/09/2015 02:24 - Australia - Cheltenham

Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 795

You deserved it 5 614

By cpatch - 09/11/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 414

You deserved it 6 401

cpatch tells us more.

cpatch 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 0:49

I put something on it to make it stop bleeding right after I shaved but it must have opened up again before I left the house. And no, I don't work at Starbucks...I stopped by to pick up breakfast and then came back home.