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Needless to say she still makes fun of me for this, when she asks me for something she will say something like,"can you firmly grasp that soda and hand it to me?"

By JubileeBee - 28/09/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 404

You deserved it 2 421

By thenegatives - 09/10/2014 01:12 - United States - Mckeesport

Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 730

You deserved it 4 341

By scratchpost - 28/10/2010 12:07 - United States

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 944

You deserved it 4 627

By anonymous - 07/06/2012 11:00 - United States

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 625

You deserved it 3 761

By sleepwalker - 14/09/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 644

You deserved it 8 433

By bestbirthdayever - 24/08/2010 07:18 - United States

Today, I was at my sixteenth birthday party. My guests consisted of my grandma who I live with, and my 2-year-old cousin she was babysitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 4 225

By oldskoolgrl - 29/03/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, I was denied acceptance to The University of Georgia. I was down all day so I decided to go to a party my friend was throwing. Thinking it would cheer me up, as soon as I arrive all I see is colleges on shirts, hats, and sweatshirts, most being UGA. It was a college acceptance party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 094

You deserved it 7 870

By Sady_Ct - 16/06/2016 11:01 - Australia - Geelong

Today, I was once again called a "selfish bitch" because I don't want kids, even though I can't provide for them mentally, emotionally, physically or financially. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 428

You deserved it 1 698

Sady_Ct tells us more.

Sady_Ct 37

Friday 17 June 2016 2:55

Hey guys, OP here... Wow! My first FML posted. To explain the situation, I was talking with my mum about how I'm unable to have kids due to physical issues with my body, my spine etc, all of which contribute to my financial and mental/emotional state. When some psycho storms up to me in the food court and screamed at me. What I actually do is help build the education funds for my nieces for when they grow up. Thanks for the support for everyone who understands... I get it on a weekly basis from everyone, including my partners family, and really gets under the skin. My father told me on his birthday at the start of the month that if I'm not pregnant by the end of the year he doesn't want to see me any more.. It's hard and it hurts, but i would never put a child of mine through what I went through. Thanks again for all your support! ^_^

By dust - 27/01/2012 06:54 - Japan

Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 014

You deserved it 3 343

By lions214 - 11/01/2012 01:40 - United States

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 419

You deserved it 2 940

By LockedOut - 02/11/2013 06:27 - United States

Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 023

You deserved it 47 319

By nothotforteacher - 07/01/2010 07:13 - United States

Today, my college professor/employer failed to send in a letter I had been counting on for a scholarship application. He has also decided not to pay me for the last two months. I'm not going to make rent. Apparently this is the punishment you get for politely declining a date with a married man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 994

You deserved it 2 922

Nice try

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 699

You deserved it 3 500

Underage boozing

By drunk under 18 teenager - 19/08/2014 13:37 - Morocco - Marrakech

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 096

You deserved it 50 325

By Polmkk - 14/02/2019 15:00 - United States

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 734

You deserved it 5 462

By failure461 - 13/06/2011 16:37 - United States

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 579

You deserved it 41 953

Housekeeping!

By unit - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 062

You deserved it 40 525

By Noname - 11/03/2009 20:29 - United States

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 048

You deserved it 9 615

Quite the catch

By Ms. Piggy - 02/03/2014 19:09 - United States - Clarksville

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 568

You deserved it 7 551

By WellThatWasRude - 25/05/2015 06:30 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 327

You deserved it 2 448

WellThatWasRude tells us more.

WellThatWasRude 27

Tuesday 26 May 2015 0:01

Hi guys, OP here. Thank you for all your comments and concerns about what happened. Regarding some previous comments, I would like to clarify a couple of things. My uncle has some mental health issues. I am not exactly sure what he has, but my parents tell me that he is on different types of medication. Also, my family was in the room when the comment was made. My mom shook her head in shame, but other than that, nothing else was said. This did not happen recently. It actually happened back in December 2014. I barely see my uncle, too. My dad apologized to me later for his inappropriate behavior. We all collectively decided to let it go because of his mental health state. I feel kind of bad because he most likely has no ulterior motives, but it was still a very uncomfortable situation, and my stomach still turns a little when I think about it. But thank you all again! And sorry for the super long comment.

By Anonymous - 07/09/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I said yes and he gave me an engagement ring. He immediately went to call his mom to tell her the happy news. After the phone call, he asked if he could return the ring because his mom needed money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 536

You deserved it 3 879