"Your degree will open so many doors" By Lewis - 18/12/2018 00:30 The way I live determined, that was a lie! I agree, your life sucks 223 You deserved it 115 Share Tweet Share
Today, I'd practiced for a slam poetry night all day. When I got up on stage, I forgot all of it and, for some reason, and my brain refused to improvise around my planned themes, so I launched into a totally unrelated rant about how confusing microwaves are. FML I agree, your life sucks 332 You deserved it 221
Today, a friend asked me if I could help him set up the stage for his wedding. Feeling honored that he considered me a close enough friend to aid him on his special day, I agreed to help. Turns out we aren't so close. I was asked to leave after I was done because I hadn't actually been invited. FML I agree, your life sucks 54 745 You deserved it 3 051
Today, my boyfriend told me he still has the key to our mailbox, while being at the other part of the country. Not to worry though, he sent it over. By mail. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 851 You deserved it 2 210
Today, while masturbating, I got a huge migraine so I went into the kitchen to get an Advil. As I was getting it, my family was staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. I walked out and realized that I hadn't put my pants back on. I just walked downstairs fully torqued in front of my family. FML I agree, your life sucks 644 You deserved it 2 714
Today, I found out why all my packages have been systematically disappearing. My husband throws them out because he’s “sick of my selfish online shopping spree habits.” That would be more understandable if I had actually been online shopping, and not ordering my special eczema toiletries and medications. FML I agree, your life sucks 881 You deserved it 146
Today, I logged into our family's shared Amazon account to buy some gift cards for Mother's Day. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw the cart already had 6 items in it. Turns out my forgetful stepbrother was debating on what gazebo to buy and forgot to take the items out of the cart. Why'd he put them in there though? FML I agree, your life sucks 109 You deserved it 403