Miscellaneous Home improvement You tried! - FML

You tried!

Anonymous - 20/02/2021 00:30 - Germany

Today, my mom, not gifted for household chores, proudly announced that she cleaned the toilet. As it turns out, what she'd primarily cleaned was the deodorizer inside the toilet. Then she tried for the stains inside the bowl, unsuccessfully, then she gave up. But yeah, great job. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Pig in shit

Anonymous - 18/10/2021 14:00

Today, after leaving for a two-week-trip, and thinking this time my mom would finally have no choice but to clean the dirty toilet herself for once, because I’ve been doing it the entire year, along with most other chores, I think you can guess what I did first thing upon my return. FML

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Get Out

Anonymous - 25/07/2013 06:04 - Australia - Mulgrave

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

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leahkasscar - 03/05/2017 16:00

Today, I decided to clean the whole house as a surprise for my mother. When she came home, she screamed at me and called me a bitch because she had wanted to clean it herself. FML

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Ain't it funky

Anonymous - 05/12/2011 00:40 - United States

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

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isucksomuch - 31/07/2011 06:18 - Canada

Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML

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The smell detective is on the case

Anonymous - 28/01/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML

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Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

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Still warm

kimmybr - 22/09/2009 09:36 - United States

Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML

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Anonymous - 29/08/2019 22:05 - United States - Raleigh

Today, my mom proudly told me that she found the perfect thing to combat my B.O. Extra strength degreaser. FML

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messyvictor - 28/01/2012 16:19 - United States

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

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SM79 6

Saturday 20 February 2021 1:16

Are you incapable of cleaning a toilet? If it bothers you that much, clean it yourself.

diraven 15

Saturday 20 February 2021 5:21

You must have had a fun childhood

SM79 6

Saturday 20 February 2021 1:16

Are you incapable of cleaning a toilet? If it bothers you that much, clean it yourself.

core01 30

Saturday 20 February 2021 4:58

What is a deodorizer inside a toilet?

SM79 6

Saturday 20 February 2021 17:07

There are deiderizors/cleaners that you stick to the inside of the toilet bowl.

diraven 15

Saturday 20 February 2021 5:21

You must have had a fun childhood

jc1015 25

Sunday 21 February 2021 7:37

get off your ass and do it yourself

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I listened to a recording of a woman saying, "I love you" for about 30 mins straight. That's apparently the only way I can feel loved. FML

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Today, I lost a grade on an essay, because according to my teacher, I put much more detail into my analytical essay than I should have. FML

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Today, I started out as a serious artist, I even got some of my work displayed in galleries. Now I live in my mom’s attic and I manage to pay her some rent by drawing furry porn for online perverts. I’ve drawn so many hair-covered buttholes I don’t even get upset anymore. FML

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Today, I was supposed to be a bridesmaid at my friend's wedding. Instead, I'm bedridden with the effects of fibromyalgia. When I called my friend to let her know I wouldn't be making it, her response was, "Can't you get fiber-malgia some other time and hurry the fuck up and come? This place charges by the hour." FML

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Today, it's early-release before Christmas break for the kiddos, and my awesome-sauce boss let them hang out in our law office for the afternoon. So far, one has puked in the conference room, and the other has clogged the toilet. Only 2 hours to go. FML

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Today, my dad lectured me because my mom cried herself to sleep last night. Why? Because I didn't want to watch a movie with her. I had to go to sleep to be up for work at 6 a.m., and was too tired to watch a movie in the first place. I live with drama queens. FML

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