Health, Painful, Parents Injury You're grounded!

You're grounded!

Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Not my day, is it?

ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

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Thanks guys

Anonymous - 29/04/2009 00:05 - Canada

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

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Anonymous - 26/07/2018 01:30

Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML

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Chris - 03/04/2011 17:41 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML

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Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

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Dumb, but relatable

Maju - 31/10/2019 04:00 - Netherlands

Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML

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I don't know my strength

Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

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Thought crime

Son of a BITCH - 21/09/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML

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Showtime

Anonymous - 16/09/2019 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, I accidentally rammed my finger into my desk, and it felt like I'd broken it. Yelping in pain, I fell over onto my bed, missed it, and landed on the floor. My dog saw this as a good opportunity to climb on top of me and start humping. FML

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Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I fell down the stairs with a cup of coffee. It gave me burns on my arm and I sprained my wrist. FML

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RichardPencil 30

Monday 8 August 2022 14:28

No wonder you got in trouble. You used the wrong swear word. For such a severe injury, the correct term is "************!!!" "Son-of-a-bitch" is for injuries involving light bruising.

poopface82 23

Monday 8 August 2022 16:14

Horrific, deplorable violence is OK as long as people don’t say any naughty words!

RichardPencil 30

Monday 8 August 2022 14:28

No wonder you got in trouble. You used the wrong swear word. For such a severe injury, the correct term is "************!!!" "Son-of-a-bitch" is for injuries involving light bruising.