Pregnancy, Food Health You BASTARD! - FML

You BASTARD!

moosemay - 02/04/2013 15:04 - Germany

Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 11/12/2014 21:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

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No soup for you

jnisla - 11/10/2013 22:44 - United States - Conway

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

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Mc2013 - 12/10/2014 17:38 - United States

Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML

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eeeee - 14/06/2012 20:40 - United States

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

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Anonymous - 04/10/2012 18:10 - United States - Omaha

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

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akiza - 17/11/2012 02:00 - Japan

Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML

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Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

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Healthy lifestyle goals

Anonymous - 06/04/2023 10:00

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

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Anonymous - 27/10/2013 16:08 - United States - Ballwin

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

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Hilarious

Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

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DntLookBack 29

Tuesday 2 April 2013 19:00

And that is when you beat his ass.. Don't mess with a pregnant lady's food!

darkmis1 17

Tuesday 2 April 2013 19:04

Make him buy you more. He's not the one carrying a baby that needs to eat as well.

blessedbylife 6

Tuesday 2 April 2013 21:37

A good man will drive across state in the middle of the night to get a prego wife/gf a craved food, not clean out the fridge

rg350dx 29

Tuesday 2 April 2013 23:13

I'm sure your husband could give you something salty

SammiixSue 13

Tuesday 2 April 2013 23:21

When I was pregnant I wrote my name on all my food. Everyone knew not to **** with the pregnant ladies food!

Slugable 7

Wednesday 3 April 2013 16:45

that's a good system!

dathan 14

Tuesday 2 April 2013 23:27

Maybe it's a good idea to tell him stuff like that? :')

insaneygolover 9

Tuesday 2 April 2013 23:44

Sounds like you are having a boy. Beat your hubby's ass

Ms_ValS 27

Wednesday 3 April 2013 1:01

Scream at him to get you new snacks & for being a self-centred ass.

epic13 12

Wednesday 3 April 2013 1:21

First world problems.

TVKill3r 15

Wednesday 3 April 2013 1:38

I'd say both FYL and YDI. You're pregnant and those snacks were for you (FYL) but you should have warned him they were yours (YDI).

0Free0 0

Wednesday 3 April 2013 1:47

Never ever eat a pregnant womans food!

0Free0 0

Wednesday 3 April 2013 1:57

Never ever eat a pregnant womans food!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was Skyping with this kid, when his girlfriend started arguing with him. They do this every other week, and there was a bet on when they'd finally break up. I egged the guy on and told him not to take her shit. She ended up dumping him. Now I feel like an asshole, and all for a lousy $20. FML

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Today, I bought my kids new mattresses for their new beds. Within 24 hours my son did a cannon ball onto his sister's bed to prove that it wouldn't break. The box spring snapped in half. FML

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Today, I was on a video call with my boss and some clients. Everything was going smoothly until my 3-year-old son walked in wearing my wife’s high heels and started running circles around me, yelling, “Look at me, I’m a queen!” My boss and clients were visibly confused, and all I could do was laugh nervously, and hope it'll never be mentioned again. FML

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Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said, "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML

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Today, I remember that I changed my phone lock password when I was still half asleep this morning, but I don't remember what I changed it to. FML

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Today, I made the major mistake of trusting a fart during a job interview. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job. FML

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