Intimacy, Creepy, Scary Animals WTF is this fresh hell?

WTF is this fresh hell?

swag papi - 22/01/2016 05:47 - Australia - Perth

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang. I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

22 037

8 378

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

34 939

37 495

Stained

maddie94 - 27/04/2009 09:14 - Australia

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

12 413

54 580

Classic confusion

Anonymous - 28/11/2023 05:00

Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML

352

199

Waxing and waning

Anonymous - 28/05/2023 22:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, being tired of all the shrubbery growing “downstairs”, I decided to give my lady bits a good waxing. So, naturally, I now have a tiny tear in my right labia and I'm scratching my itchy buttcrack with an old toothbrush. FML

748

521

The passenger

BurnItOff - 19/04/2024 20:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML

483

Anonymous - 12/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband caught me scratching my armpit with his beard brush. Just last week I swore that I never touch it. FML

2 454

12 385

Anonymous - 03/06/2012 05:50 - United States - Egg Harbor Township

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

6 762

49 106

Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

24 874

8 418

ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

10 524

28 660

Steve - 24/02/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

13 688

36 242

AndyPurdy 31

Friday 22 January 2016 14:27

...wtf... Go take a shower

PaulChristie 13

Friday 22 January 2016 14:27

That makes me feel genuinely sick.

prettygurl89 16

Friday 22 January 2016 16:35

That's some straight up Australia shit

trucker2 33

Friday 22 January 2016 16:47

Shave it bald, or deal with forest terrorist- simple

FSGInsainity 15

Friday 22 January 2016 17:26

Well, Australia

AustinFFA 11

Friday 22 January 2016 17:38

What the **** did I just read

Baumsy 4

Thursday 28 January 2016 0:14

Aren't you "Luna" from Youtube?

SecundusSecunda 27

Friday 22 January 2016 17:44

I'm not saying it was Australian aliens, but Australian aliens.

vicfirthfan 11

Friday 22 January 2016 17:46

was it your girlfriend?

NickD6 14

Friday 22 January 2016 18:29

Dude that bites!

ventraltooth0 12

Friday 22 January 2016 18:29

Looks you you have a trouser snake

kcountry92 15

Friday 22 January 2016 18:55

a little personal hygiene goes a long way.....

kitsuneluvuh 12

Friday 22 January 2016 18:56

This seriously needs follow up

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had to dress like a diva for a drama performance and my friend said I looked like a hooker. Then someone said, “If hookers looked like that, they wouldn't get any money." FML

3 515

436

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

1 983

227

Today, I went to a concert. About halfway through, it went quiet at the start of a solo acoustic song. My allergies chose this time to react to some audience member’s strong perfume. I tried to hold back my coughing, but I couldn’t. I found myself interrupting the entire show with a loud drawn-out coughing fit. FML

725

138

Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML

38 282

4 609

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

58 823

9 452

Today, at work I had to handle two selfish parents returning their adopted 6 year-old daughter to foster care because, “She doesn’t, like, fit with our lifestyle, and my mom is, like, too old to babysit her anymore and we, like, can’t afford a nanny.” I hate my job. FML

2 072

128