Love, Awkward Parents Winning - FML

Winning

Anonymous - 12/07/2022 00:01

Today, my mom has a new boyfriend. She insists he’s a good catch, because he makes enough from unemployment to afford Netflix and smoke weed every day, never mind that he doesn’t have a car, or a home of his own, or his original teeth, or underpants without holes in them. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Noname - 06/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

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Family dynamics

Anonymous - 21/04/2022 04:00 - Germany - Zittau

Today, my mom told me how happy she is that I'm living with her. No wait, that was a month ago. Now she tells me it’s “bad timing” that I'm living with her while she potentially has a new boyfriend, because things like me demanding that people tidy up after themselves might upset him. FML

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koolkat9 - 22/12/2014 19:11 - United States - Albion

Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML

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Be careful what you wish for

lordoftheweird - 20/07/2024 15:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my mom is upset that she can't get a date, but my dad can. This is the woman who doesn't shower, has a drug problem, and was arrested for spying on a local kindergartener. She was the one who demanded a polyamorous relationship. FML

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Thanks but no thanks

Anonymous - 04/07/2012 18:01 - United States

Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML

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weneedthatmoneytoliveon - 26/06/2013 14:08 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

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Seriously?

sadgirl - 24/08/2019 09:00 - United States - Edmond

Today, I brought my boyfriend home to meet my family. The first thing my mom said to him was, “Oh, you can do so much better. Like a paint huffer or a crack whore.” She was serious, and my entire family nodded in agreement. FML

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Mirror mirror

Anonymous - 05/05/2013 15:53 - United States

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

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Cougartown

Anonymous - 12/09/2022 01:00

Today, my boyfriend met my mom and started acting strange. Then my dad came in and was instantly furious. Apparently, my boyfriend is the guy my mom cheated with that caused my parent's divorce. He’s 3 years younger than I am. Gross mom, just gross. Also I’m single again, damn it. FML

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Class war

gill - 20/06/2024 03:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Recently, her mother married a rich guy and they moved in together. Her stepfather pays for everything and she can now go to bars every weekend or travel. Now that she’s “had a taste of the good life” she thinks she can meet someone better. I’m working class. FML

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tc201002 11

Tuesday 12 July 2022 0:59

That unemployment is gonna run out eventually

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 12 July 2022 5:29

How can you wear underwear without holes? How do you get your legs in?

tc201002 11

Tuesday 12 July 2022 0:59

That unemployment is gonna run out eventually

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 12 July 2022 5:29

How can you wear underwear without holes? How do you get your legs in?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML

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Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

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Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML

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Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

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Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML

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Today, our boss told me and her other salaried staff, "There is literally no problem this office faces that can't be solved by you all working after hours and on weekends." FML

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