When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, my stress sweat overpowered my prescription strength deodorant 45 minutes into an 8-hour shift. I don't know who is more miserable, me or my coworkers. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 890 You deserved it 203
Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML I agree, your life sucks 57 720 You deserved it 15 141
Today, the girl I was going to hook up with took off her clothes and revealed she had an absolutely disturbing tattoo of a rotting zombie head on her lower stomach and groin, the idea being that during sex my penis would look like it was in the zombie's mouth. I couldn’t go through with it. FML I agree, your life sucks 673 You deserved it 234
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 028 You deserved it 11 838
Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 261 You deserved it 5 950
Today, my girlfriend and I were walking near a pond when we saw a drake forcefully mating with a duck. She burst into tears and demanded I stop them. When I told her no, that it’s just nature and thats how they breed, she dumped me for supporting and "enabling rape." FML I agree, your life sucks 2 238 You deserved it 736
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋