When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 281 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, I complained to my girlfriends that my husband constantly wants me to explore his disgusting perversions, like making me call him "Daddy" or putting me on a leash. They all started discussing all the nasty things they'd let my husband do, then said he should find a sidepiece who's "less boring." FML I agree, your life sucks 223 You deserved it 508
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 701 You deserved it 5 031
Today, I found out that when I drink alcohol, I snore so bad my boyfriend contemplated suffocating me with a pillow to get some sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 110 You deserved it 807
Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML I agree, your life sucks 17 238 You deserved it 47 305
Today, I got pulled over for going a few miles per hour over the speed limit. The cop asked for my license and registration. I happened to look down at my wallet while he was processing everything and saw my license in my wallet. I gave the cop my fake I.D. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 718 You deserved it 66 336
Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 968 You deserved it 470
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋