What is wrong with you?

Anonymous - 30/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, I had to inform my son that no, his genital warts will not just go away on their own, and if he ever wants to have sex with a decent woman again, he’ll take his stupid self to the doctor and get treated. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

fucked by sex ed - 29/03/2013 17:18 - United States - Manchester

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

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Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:03 - United States

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

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Help!

Anonymous - 03/12/2018 14:00

Today, my son begged me to take him to the doctor for the weeping bloody rash on his penis so I had to take an unpaid day off for his appointment. The doctor laughed us out the door after it turned out to be a good old-fashioned friction burn. FML

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Bad student at the school of life

Anonymous - 26/03/2023 00:00

Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML

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hurts.to.pee - 19/01/2012 05:14 - United States

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

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Anonymous - 29/03/2015 15:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

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dude5028 - 08/09/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

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Misery loves company

Anonymous - 03/10/2011 21:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my 20 year-old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

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Good

Anonymous - 18/10/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said, "Good." FML

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Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

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Wadlaen 23

Saturday 30 March 2024 22:31

Maybe decent women aren't what he's aiming at...

wrecklesswfire 3

Tuesday 9 April 2024 2:51

there are so many questions here that I do not need answers too

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 30 March 2024 22:31

Maybe decent women aren't what he's aiming at...

wrecklesswfire 3

Tuesday 9 April 2024 2:51

there are so many questions here that I do not need answers too

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was on my way to work. Out of nowhere, my period started. Due to allergies, I had uncontrollable sneezes. Now, I have blood all over my pants. FML

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Today, the best manager I've ever had told me she was leaving to take a job at another company. I just found out my new manager is a guy that has destroyed three different departments in three years. He's the owner's nephew or something. I do not want to be looking for a new job during the Covid-19 pandemic. FML

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Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

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Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML

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Today, the office tough guy learned how to use the fire extinguisher. On me. I wasn't on fire. FML

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Today, I tried to look cool while playing beer pong. Instead, I slipped violently on a puddle of spilled beer, threw my drink over the person next to me and on the ground, and then fell face-first into the mess I made. FML

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