Drunk, Parents, Argument Miscellaneous What ARE you doing? - FML

What ARE you doing?

mountains - 19/11/2012 00:47 - United States - Pembroke

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Todd - 14/08/2012 16:14 - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

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Boom!

Anonymous - 03/10/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Wigan

Today, my dad stumbled home drunk at closing time and woke the whole house with a bang by attempting to heat a tin of baked beans in the microwave, without removing the beans from the tin first. FML

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paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

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mydadsawsooomuch - 17/11/2010 13:26 - United States

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

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Anger management

FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

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fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

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Mommy dearest

Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

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meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

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Rohirus - 07/06/2012 23:09 - Sweden

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

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youjustsuck - 25/07/2011 18:07 - United States

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

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DocBastard 38

Monday 19 November 2012 9:01

The microwave was asking for it! Did you hear that tone it used when it beeped? It's lucky your father didn't give it the beating it deserved. Stupid ******* smug appliances.

Kinoster 20

Monday 19 November 2012 8:54

Are you sure he was drunk? I'm always up for an argument with inanimate objects.

sens3sfailing 24

Monday 19 November 2012 17:17

31- it was meant to be funny and I it was funny to me at 5:30 in the morning because I couldnt fall asleep. I should have known better and not taken it so far. sorry, I agree that that was a quite terrible attempt at a joke. I shall accept my rotten tomatoes with dignity!

desoto96 9

Monday 19 November 2012 18:32

Sens3sfailing has just been getting no love recently.

SenselessPattern 12

Monday 19 November 2012 21:15

There was an FML just like this one less than a year ago. Anybody else remember it? I think it was a microwave that the dad was arguing with as well...

Sir_Swaggington 6

Monday 19 November 2012 22:06

Microwaves be crazy.

teresee 8

Monday 19 November 2012 22:50

Which half? ^_^

doglover100 28

Tuesday 20 November 2012 0:24

Which half was dressed?

BIRDMONGA 0

Tuesday 20 November 2012 3:05

Shit wouldn't cook his hot pocket

happyvocal 1

Tuesday 20 November 2012 5:39

|Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad Please don't be a creeper FML.. |drunkenly arguing with the microwave *sigh of relief*

missy1228 2

Tuesday 20 November 2012 6:17

What?

Lilithslabyrinth 0

Tuesday 20 November 2012 6:27

Lol like a boss!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

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Today, me and the missus went for a boozy meal in our local pub. We stumbled home, and full of lager-fuelled love and courage, I asked her, "We getting married then or what?" She replied, "We're already married, you daft cunt." FML

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Today, two patients died. Both had Covid. I'm still trying to deal with the issues last year left me with and we're right back in the same place. FML

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Today, I learned the VERY hard way that if you’re gonna go onto your neighbor’s property, yell at them for parking on your side of the street, and threaten to call the city on them, then you should probably make sure she doesn’t have pepper spray. FML

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Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML

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Today, I finished my shopping at Costco, and realized I'd forgotten where I had parked. After scouring the parking lot for 20 minutes, I called the police and filed a report for a stolen vehicle. I then remembered I had bought a new car yesterday and parked it right next to the entrance. FML

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