Kids Well done

Well done

Anonymous - 17/10/2015 11:41 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 16/06/2012 00:00 - United States - Medina

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

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~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

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I blame the parents

Anonymous - 29/12/2024 00:00 - New Zealand - Lower Hutt

Today, I picked up my idiot 20 year-old son from a party. He was shit-faced drunk and managed to drop his vape out the window as I was driving. He tried to open the door of the moving car to get out and look for it, and I had to grab him and pull him back in. Legally, this moron is an adult. FML

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ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

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Bad seed

Anonymous - 05/09/2022 22:00 - United States - Worcester

Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML

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He's such a character!

Anonymous - 17/09/2021 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was called a judgemental bitch by my family for not letting my son back home after his release from prison, forgetting that none of them want to house him either, considering he did run me over with my car he was stealing to pay his debts to his drug dealer/prostitute provider. FML

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Anonymous - 23/10/2014 01:33 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

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I Have Failed - 02/04/2014 20:10 - Spain - Madrid

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

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Boozed up

AuntSucka - 08/11/2009 01:35 - United States

Today, I let my nephew and his friend spend the night to watch movies. After I fell asleep, they stole my liquor and went roaming. When they saw the cop car in front of my house and realized they were busted, they went up to the cop and told them I gave them the alcohol to avoid being grounded. FML

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Anonymous - 23/05/2012 21:14 - United States

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

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KelseyDaBoyz 21

Saturday 17 October 2015 23:51

Shouldn't have done it. Let him deal with the consequences of his stupid actions.

christinamarie17 29

Saturday 17 October 2015 23:51

I feel like he shouldn't be allowed to have children.

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 18 October 2015 6:32

What was the bet he lost? Sure hope it wasn't simple

kerplunk95 15

Sunday 18 October 2015 8:58

You can't entirely blame your son the genes had to come from somewhere

fohfuu 9

Sunday 18 October 2015 9:31

No wonder he does shitty things if his own father insults him like that.

VGQ 18

Sunday 18 October 2015 14:20

He better stop pissing around before he gets in serious trouble.

cr500guy 11

Sunday 18 October 2015 14:23

Sorry to hear that. He needs new friends... fast!!

saffy66 34

Sunday 18 October 2015 15:53

I'm curious as to whether OP is the mother or the father.

confused_wandere 26

Sunday 18 October 2015 17:38

You can see from the symbol at the top that OP is male, so clearly the father.

confused_wandere 26

Sunday 18 October 2015 16:16

Calling your son a pansy? Nice. What a great father. I bet you are one of those really "manly" men that spend all their time pumping iron and complimenting women's chests aren't you?