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Anonymous - 08/01/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML
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DocBastard 38

You are inferring all wrong. They are clearly telling you that you have bad breath, you stink, and you're going to get lice from the last person who slept on that bed.

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yuggi1 11

OR... The shampoo is actually for your crabs (thought they wouldn't find out, huh?) and the bed plastic for your masturbation sessions ( your mom told you off). If this is the case YDI.

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jakeisawake 3

Aye now; I don't see where the guy deserves it, unless you mean because he gives himself extra care under the covers. That just makes him a real man. The deodorant would then be used to mask himself from his glistening sweat and hardwork. As for lice shampoo... Maybe he does have crabs, BUT he's learned his lesson hence his reason for masturbating.

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UpsidedownKayak 9

So you don't deny that you have body odor and bad breath? Try cleaning up for the people around you. No one wants to be around someone that stinks.

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Babyquackquack91 0

I'm sorry but, your dads a d-bag x/

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iloveyou7877 0

that's funny ;D

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lolaisagirl 0

is there something so terribly wrong with your nose that you have to cover it up? just wondering.

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Sparkiee93 3

What assholes! You should cause chaos.

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KVKdragon 26

I'd appreciate the free mouthwash and deodorant. But at the same time, I'd also dump that lice shampoo in the kitchen sink (your stepmom can't miss it) and cut up the plastic mattress into pieces to be strewn on your stepmom's and dad's bed.

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sourgirl101 28

Okay, this was funny. (:

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lolaisagirl 0

yes, because smelling your own pee every time you sleep at night during your stay is the perfect revenge! and also apparently funny..

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Lichinamo 33

OR, lolaisagirl, they could pee on the bed on the last day of their visit so they don't have to smell it and when they're leaving they can say, "You know how I said I didn't need the plastic covers? I lied! Bye!" and run away.

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georggx 3

why lie? of course you have lice and of course you wet the bed!

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