Weird Health Weird flex, but OK

Weird flex, but OK

Anon - - Australia

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Satisfaction

thacupcakeassassin - - United States - Shippensburg

Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML

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The smell test

sosadstudent - - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

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Deez nuts

needtoscratch - - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

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Stinky pits

shakinmahbuttbutt - - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

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Caturday surprise!

keeperstride - - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

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Naughty girl

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

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Glade

stinkystinky -

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

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Rash decision

FilthyIke - 21/08/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

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The struggle

lizi - - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

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New fragrance just dropped

lavenderpiss - - Australia - North Adelaide

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

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pancakerocks 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:55

intresting. i take joy in smelling myself after i shower

krustacea 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:53

I've done that.

Hubol 11

Friday 13 January 2012 6:25

At least you don't ********** to it. Don't be as ashamed as I am.

Fmlsea 28

Friday 13 January 2012 8:02

dude soap and water do lovely things .

jraxxo 1

Friday 13 January 2012 11:43

Me Gusta

alsgirl 24

Friday 13 January 2012 12:29

Ewwww

BulletCatcher12 0

Friday 13 January 2012 15:43

Ok tho, can we all honestly say we've NEVER done something similar? It's gross, but c'mon, you've never been intrigued by the way your body smells?

rhymes4days 2

Friday 13 January 2012 17:00

no...no body does this...if i smell bad i wash and thats IT...smh

juanitoww 5

Friday 13 January 2012 18:27

That is gross

jessebp 0

Friday 13 January 2012 18:54

Perhaps a weird fetish

davek 36

Friday 13 January 2012 19:24

You are Foul Bachelorette Frog, and I claim my five pounds.

BG_caligrown 0

Friday 13 January 2012 19:28

lmao. yu too?

DaMan25 4

Saturday 14 January 2012 1:22

That's ****** up

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had my first gig with my new band. I was concentrating on my guitar during the second song when I tripped over the singer's microphone cable, hit my head on the bass drum, and blacked out. When I came to, people were applauding, apparently thinking it was part of the act. FML

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Today, I went to work 8:30 am. Human stayed home. Got home at 5pm. Human is working on his music at home. It is 7:11 pm and Human is still on his computer working on the same song, on replay. FML

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Today, on a thirty minute commute to a job interview, I felt the urge to pee. When I got there, I politely asked the receptionist where the toilets were, and she told me to wait for someone to come show me. After another thirty minutes, someone turned up; the HR manager. FML

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Today, another woman tagged my husband in a “Couples' Day” photo montage on Instagram. Some of the photos were taken during those “business trips” he was having, including when he traveled due to his “grandpa” passing away. We have 3 children and I gave birth to our last daughter a month ago. FML

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Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

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Today, I got in trouble for punching my sister. Apparently, it still counts if it's in Minecraft and she looked like she was going to steal my stuff. FML

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