Intimacy Turn off

Turn off

seriously - 02/10/2010 20:31 - United States

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Kwalker3 - 06/05/2012 06:39 - United States - Tracy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

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S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

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That was quick

Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

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Sexy catboys rule my life

verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

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zamwow - 20/12/2013 23:36 - United States - Ridgefield Park

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

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So hott

facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

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Actor's Studio

darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

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Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:09 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

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Not now, Yoda

iwassoclose - 10/04/2013 16:32 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML

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Not feeling it

thisisstupid_17 - 16/11/2016 14:47

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

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bigbadtim 7

Sunday 3 October 2010 0:02

That's baaaad!

Richisme 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 0:01

The Animal, tis' in us all.

writergirl23 19

Friday 20 July 2012 7:44

Hope he was wearing protection

Squirrel1256 15

Monday 17 September 2012 3:26

Like a baaas!

Lord_Sony 9

Wednesday 12 December 2012 18:45

I do think that's funny

guitarst1071995 12

Thursday 22 August 2013 16:05

I'm gonna try that

NotUnique 15

Tuesday 12 January 2016 20:26

I laughed way too loud at this in my office.

WeegeeFMLNerd 6

Monday 15 August 2016 4:35

20 minutes? Thats good, OP

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I found out I got a 97 on my physics final exam. I was curious about the question I missed, so I went up to my teacher and asked. He was very confused and checked my grade again before telling me, "Oh my bad, it was meant to be a 79." FML

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Today, I was in the gym when I noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the treadmill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until I got a sports bra that actually worked. FML

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Today, my husband's grandmother told me in confidence that he was diagnosed with psychopathy as a child, so in all likelihood my husband isn’t actually capable of feeling love for me. I’m just a useful tool to make him seem normal so doctors and therapists leave him alone. FML

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Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

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You can't stay mad at that face for too long!

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Today, my grandma and I were watching the Ranger's playoff game. As Henrik Lundqvist received a standing ovation from the crowd after blocking 38 shots, she says to me, "Check out his equipment!" My 80-year old grandma just commented on Henrik Lundqvist's package. FML

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