Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really...

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 137

You deserved it 23 562

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Same thing different taste

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 260

You deserved it 413

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 634

You deserved it 6 234

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 142

You deserved it 22 222

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 327

You deserved it 29 275

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 197

You deserved it 5 591

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 651

You deserved it 1 208

By loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 941

You deserved it 23 820

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 706

You deserved it 7 410

By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 200

You deserved it 8 251

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 742

You deserved it 18 593

jw90 18

Friday 30 October 2009 22:10

Quit your ******* complaining you got head!

fmluser2232 0

Friday 30 October 2009 22:14

Who cares if its serious or not, its amazing head and she's into it. Turn in your man card for even caring.

Comments

flyboy57 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 3:29

man, you're a little bitch.

MelancholySpork 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 3:49

Your girlfriend is ******* amazing... stop bitching

kboyd3 2

Friday 19 August 2011 8:11

Win!

Butcher_1419 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 4:05

wanna trade girlfriends? you whiny bitch

Fords_Suck 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 4:42

What a whiny wank-face! She was probably enjoying doing it douche! SHIT!!

Connkidd 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 5:15

ur so lame

xApril 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 5:23

Yeah, that is strange. You'll be okay.

Super_Vegetto 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 5:44

I love you guys who didn't defend the OP. Seriously, this is more patheitc than the power ranger one. Loved the comments though.

puhffft 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 5:48

Hahahahahahahaha, she's my hero!

BunnyDrastic 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 5:53

That makes me sad dude

Noah_h 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 9:23

how is this an fml!!! it's a my life is awesome

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. Feeling pumped, I grabbed what I thought was a light dumbbell. It wasn’t. I dropped it on my toe and screamed so loud that the gym bros around me stopped mid-workout to stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 455

Today, my boyfriend spent an hour lecturing me on how I need to ask for what I want. So I asked him to delete a crappy picture he'd taken of me the night before. His response: "No, you don't always get what you want." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 439

You deserved it 9 512

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 355

You deserved it 78 735

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 281

You deserved it 11 139

Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 979

You deserved it 4 249

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid seeing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 357

You deserved it 6 436