Intimacy Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun"....

notsexy - 28/07/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

Stuck

canessadawn - - United States - Portland

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

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Anonymous - 29/06/2014 23:14 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

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Effective

Nublet - - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

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InTheDoghouse23 - 24/08/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

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Ticklish - 13/04/2014 09:33 - United States - Marion

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

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Sketchy

Wolf - - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML

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Killing the mood

hotmess - - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

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Scary!

Anonymous - - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

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myusofwe - 06/02/2016 01:33 - Puerto Rico - Caguas

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

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Courtesy visit

hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

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Learxst 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 9:12

I lol'd. But here's a thing. Us guys are clueless. If something doesn't feel good, or if he's doing something wrong... tell him. He will correct himself, and it'll be much easier for the both of you.

deathbunny256 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 9:17

"Hewwo! My name is Ms Boob! And you aw?"

CFR 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 17:13

lol it`s not foreplay, but he`s right, it is "fun"

AdvocataDiaboli 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 17:14

Umm... I agree, pretty funny. I'd laugh. Heck, I do, when my boyfriend occasionally does that. So yeah, him playing with her boobs, not FML. But I think everyone is missing the point -- if that is the extent of the foreplay, he is fail. Imagine a girl making elephant noises with your penis or ping-pong with your balls to try to arouse you (unless you're some pathetic 15 year old, in which case "OMGZ GURL TOUGHIN ME" will turn you on I guess).

gemstar_fml 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 17:19

LOL Thats cute and hilarious. Sorry that your boyfriend has a sense of humour and feels comfortable around you? You have such a terrible life! :o

vanaathiel 13

Wednesday 29 July 2009 17:45

I have a humorous boyfriend and its great, lol but even this is drawing the line between humorous and creepy!! Not sure many women would be into this.....guys, would you be into your girlfriends giving your penis a name and treating it like a puppet??