Intimacy Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex...

Anon. - 07/02/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

Dirty talk

CorpseBride - 07/02/2017 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, but my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say, so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse." He laughed and I died a little inside. FML

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fml_for_real - 04/02/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to ravish me. He told me he would rather play PS3. FML

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Anonymous - 21/12/2013 06:26 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

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Anonymous - 10/06/2014 03:30 - United States - Crowley

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

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Oddly specific question

Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

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Read the room

pissed girlfriend - 25/02/2013 03:08 - United States - Celina

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

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Do that again

lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

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Creepy

Anonymous - 28/09/2012 21:22 - Canada

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said, "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

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Mr Loverman

Anonymous - 14/08/2020 08:01

Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML

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Caught a stray bullet

cryface - 07/02/2014 04:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

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hellblade36 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:03

necrophilia much?

tnlander 20

Monday 7 February 2011 23:13

maybe you're too noisy op and he just wanted a few minutes to enjoy himself.

4evermossin 0

Friday 25 February 2011 22:25

well I think if your comfortable why not if not just pretend your sleeping

bestellaaa 3

Friday 18 March 2011 19:20

thatss sickk . -__-

lunkness_monster 0

Monday 21 March 2011 9:51

At least he didn't ask you to "play dead" so he could eat you.. Necrophagism is sexy!

66mustangrocks 4

Thursday 24 March 2011 5:30

WTF?????? dump that crazy asshole!

ThaBurg2012 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 21:54

Blahhh'_' definantlyy gross FYL

bbonander 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 7:41

creepyyyyyyy:/

rizzosierra 0

Friday 1 April 2011 1:20

sounds fun

spottie 0

Monday 11 April 2011 9:10

can you say necrophiliac?

sykokitti 15

Tuesday 19 April 2011 11:42

run as fast as you can!

hlowe805 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 22:38

that should be your sign to get out of that relationship quickly

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, some jacked-up dude who spends way too much time in the gym actually flipped my car onto its roof, while his friends filmed it, because he said I’d parked in a disabled bay, and he was gonna expose me on YouTube. He must have felt a right fool when he realised it wasn’t even a disabled bay. FML

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Today, my wife and I agreed to get two horses. She got three horses and a pregnant goat. FML

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Today, I found out that my dad left his entire estate to charity in his will, including his house. He knew I needed that house to get my kids back, because I’m currently homeless and my kids are in care until I can prove I have a suitable place for us to live. FML

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Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML

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Today, I got a cross-country job promotion. I decided to plan my Going-Away-Forever party, and bought a pack of 100 invitations. After mailing them out to all my friends, I have 92 left. FML

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Today, I learned that my husband and I share the same taste in men. FML

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