Intimacy: Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson....

By margelover - 11/10/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 155

You deserved it 9 054

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 737

You deserved it 4 278

By Anonymous - 11/06/2014 22:20 - United States - Barnhart

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 659

You deserved it 8 173

Inactive

By inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 178

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 071

You deserved it 9 052

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 730

You deserved it 9 338

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 05:15 - New Zealand

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 290

You deserved it 9 790

Leave Me Alone

By gordogs 25 - 04/04/2012 10:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 147

You deserved it 13 053

You probably do

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 22:01

Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 237

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 796

You deserved it 4 565

Unfulfilled

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 00:00 - Romania - Campina

Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 160

Tarak_fml 7

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:23

We've all been there......

darrenchan 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:23

I think you need help.

Comments

FrostieFrost 9

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:41

Can't tell if trolling or just plain weird...

docscientist 9

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:45

The question is, were you a cartoon?

WCARlover 34

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:59

Well at least it wasn't about Homer Simpson?

CHOMP3R 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:07

Or maybe you just need a little help from your hand.

Sadist86 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:10

Better than Rosie O'Donnell. Yes, I'm guilty.

MrsAgony 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:13

Hahah well that's not weird at all...

SPC117 5

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:23

FML? more like DOH!!!

Commander223 9

Wednesday 12 October 2011 3:04

Well, she IS really hot. We've all been there...

Person1233 12

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:30

Hey, at least you aren't having sexual fantasies about My Little Pony. Although to millions on the internet, that's perfectly acceptable.

Arivien 3

Thursday 13 October 2011 4:41

...isn't it?

Bofferding_fml 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:35

Well consider yourself lucky that it wasn't about Maggie.

kevin27_fml 3

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:38

d'oh!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 898

You deserved it 71 475

Today, I was boiling pasta and tasting it every now and then too see if it was done. As an afterthought, I threw in some lentil pasta as well. Only after tasting a few more times did I notice the maggots that were now slowly rising in the boiling water. I didn't expect that much protein in those lentils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 154

Today, I fell in a river with a £700 camera, a £200 lens, and an iPhone while trying to rescue a 50 pence ball for my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 864

You deserved it 32 950

Today, like any other day, I look just like Kim Jung-un. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 221

Today, I was once again called into work on my day off after someone called in sick. All I want is one day where I get to stay home. Please. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 115

Today, I went to hospital with chest pain and they discovered I need a triple bypass for three arteries clogged with fat. The doctor assumed from my scans that I must be middle aged or older because he’d never seen three arteries clogged so badly on someone under 50. I’m 27 FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 324