Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man... - FML

By robbed - 03/09/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 316

You deserved it 24 363

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Same thing different taste

Stunlocked

By RoyBoy - 26/07/2021 18:01

Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 621

Mistaken identity

By Guess I was wrong - 16/03/2020 06:23

Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 433

By BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 868

You deserved it 4 314

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 819

You deserved it 43 292

Messy

By Anonymous - 11/06/2025 00:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 118

Dude, chill out

By U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 128

Many moving parts

By AlmostCarjacked - 17/07/2025 00:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I was dogsitting at my friend's house and accidentally left my car door unlocked because I was running in to drop off my interview clothes. I came back outside to see a homeless man in my driver's seat, rummaging. I had to fight him. He was terrified. I couldn’t stop shaking for hours after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 135

By dwhite032 - 06/06/2011 07:06 - United States

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 502

You deserved it 6 852

Smooth criminal

By jack1057 - 12/09/2020 01:01 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was walking to my car from my workplace. When I was about 20 feet from my car, a guy who was clearly on drugs yelled at me and stole my keys and car. Right before leaving the parking lot, he hit a stop sign and then yelled that my car was broken and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 191

Pay up

By ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV - 07/11/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 361

You deserved it 4 918

Next

Top comments

RhymePrime 7

Thursday 3 September 2009 23:03

Not a very good friend, Lol

superstephen4 5

Thursday 3 September 2009 23:08

don't trust strange people on your couch.

Comments

TrueRaiderFan22 0

Friday 21 May 2010 4:09

first

rety1 13

Friday 2 July 2010 8:52

umm. lock the ******* door...????

laser100 1

Friday 30 July 2010 4:01

LMFAO!!!!!!

bharted85 7

Friday 6 August 2010 5:00

if he's a "friend" of your mom why would he be at your house? lol

bookgirl_7 12

Friday 6 August 2010 8:18

I don't know why, but this FML made me laugh. I guess that makes me a pretty horrible person, but still, LOL.

loveforsoccer 0

Wednesday 20 October 2010 2:52

that's made up

califormula 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 3:59

Why would you sit on the couch?

madysin 5

Saturday 28 May 2011 3:03

agreed with #41

miss2kute31 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 5:08

A strange man? So you didn't at all think to ask your mom if she had company over? The burglar did a smart move though.

TylersBoo 0

Friday 15 July 2011 18:48

stranger danger !

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Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I've pretty much given up hope that she’ll ever learn to tidy up after herself. I just wish I could dock her allowance every time she makes me clean up her mess. Why can’t I? Because I’m not actually her mother. In fact, she’s mine. FML

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You deserved it 138

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You deserved it 111

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I agree, your life sucks 21 831

You deserved it 11 184

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I agree, your life sucks 12 172

You deserved it 1 613

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I agree, your life sucks 46 007

You deserved it 5 534