Intimacy: Today, I was cleaning out my little sister's bedroom as she moved...

You seriously need to work on controlling your anger. That’s no way to act upon seeing a simple joke. You’ll find yourself in trouble once you become an adult if you continue to make unprovoked insults like that.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 13 September 2018 8:20

Turn it into a wearable butt plug!

Anastasiia Bogolepova 10

Thursday 13 September 2018 8:39

Oh honey... Welcome to the world of sex.. It's called strap-on..

EinVoegelein 8

Thursday 13 September 2018 13:47

How do you know that? There are more wearable vibrators than just strap-ons.

Davros 12

Thursday 13 September 2018 8:49

Did it still work?

whiskey'swino 15

Thursday 13 September 2018 9:15

I'm sure it is a bigger loss to her than the bit of your brain you need to scrub.

Zeatha Mistron 7

Thursday 13 September 2018 10:01

Blackmail

nubs 22

Thursday 13 September 2018 10:03

Nice 👌😂 Did you try it out?

julfunky 29

Thursday 13 September 2018 12:20

Rule #87 in life: Never “try out” your family’s sex toys.

real life problems 26

Thursday 13 September 2018 12:54

Yeah you just sell them to perverts on craigslist

Johnny5 16

Thursday 13 September 2018 16:47

Like a strap on that vibrates? Or like a vibe you walk around with all day?

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The Top

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile, and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 660

You deserved it 31 876

Today, after he asked to hit it raw three days into talking, shit got a little messy, so he said he needed time to decide how he felt about me. So, he's ready to be a high school baby daddy before trying to be my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 531

The Top

Today, I was upset with my girlfriend, but I didn't want to start an argument with her, so I didn't reply to her message immediately. She asked me what happened. I hesitated but explained nonetheless. She remained silent for almost an hour before replying she's busy at work, so she can't reply. Then why did she even bother to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 206

Today, I moved my dad's chair to look for my phone, but forgot to put it back. When my dad came back, he tried to sit down in the area where his chair usually is, but instead fell down on the floor, yelling, "YOU MOVED MY CHAIR!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 308

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130 215

You deserved it 300 123

Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 363

You deserved it 8 609

Today, I woke up from another nightmare, this time drowning in a rogue wave. I could feel the water and rain. I could feel myself gasping for air as I don't know how to swim, and can barely float. I'm scared if I die in my sleep, I die for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 168

Today, after months of trying to make my girlfriend orgasm, she finally did. It was with my brother. I'll definitely knock next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 815

You deserved it 1 600