Love: Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the...

Ew! Let him be cheap if he wants to OP, but I advice you to go out and get your own mouthwash from now on. Gosh, I know couples swap spit when they kiss, but this is entirely different o.O

Michael_92 20

Thursday 3 May 2012 22:30

Get your own secret bottle. That's just so so nasty!

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 3 May 2012 23:04

Cheap. Does he make you push his car to work as well??

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Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

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Today, after my car died a mile from my house, I huffed, puffed and pushed it back to my house off the street, so I wouldn't get a ticket overnight. After getting it towed to the shop in the morning, I got a call telling me they put gas in it for me and it starts up fine now. FML

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Today, I accused a student in my class of getting his dad to do his homework. It turns out that his dad died two years ago. FML

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Today, I went to my (now ex) boyfriend’s step-uncle’s wedding. He got absolutely wasted and kept talking about marrying me in front of his mom and step-dad, but was listing off who he would and wouldn’t invite, all in front of the people he wouldn’t invite. FML

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Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML

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Today, I was walking up the stairs with my lunch behind a heavy co-worker. His arms were full, and step by step, as we went up the stairs his pants dropped a little further. By the time we reached the top, his knickers were below his knees and it was a full moon. I prayed he wouldn't fart on my food. FML

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