Animals Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with...

bored2death - 23/07/2010 22:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML

31 267

6 223

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

HelpMe - 25/02/2014 09:59 - United Kingdom - Galashiels

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

54 015

3 854

Beeisc00l - 05/10/2011 18:58 - Reserved

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

30 628

22 543

pigglepigglepiggle - 24/11/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

10 529

29 624

Anonymous - 21/02/2016 21:48 - United States - Merrimack

Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML

21 781

2 429

What a cozy moment

ratfaced - 12/10/2017 07:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

3 741

386

animallover - 26/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

34 600

5 308

Anonymous - 02/12/2009 19:25 - United States

Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML

30 897

7 349

LG - 17/03/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

38 679

4 153

Anonymous - 19/12/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

30 141

7 207

Anonymous - 03/09/2011 02:47 - United States

Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML

30 385

6 887

justsayfuck 5

Saturday 24 July 2010 1:58

You liar! You forced him :o

ibmike22 13

Saturday 24 July 2010 2:01

i wish i had a guinea pig:( oh well, the only friend i need is my fridge

xcrushh 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 6:56

Haha the poor guinea pig doesn't even have a choice. Don't torture it.

LASuxs 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 7:05

Why you complainin? Guinea pigs aren't as annoyin as people. Just feed em and they're cool, you dont hear no whining drama or petty FMLs from em

onnielief 4

Saturday 24 July 2010 7:09

So as long as thw guinea pig doesn't die you're good to go!

damn_it110 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 7:18

that's pathetic

ninba20 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 7:19

r u sure the Guinea pig wants to be there...lol or he rather be with ur other "friends" either way op it must suck to be u...

kfrizzle2 4

Saturday 24 July 2010 7:23

Lol funny thing is, the guinea pig is in a cage. So how is that 'willing'?

luvtolaugh 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 7:40

#1- is your puppy the only one tht loves you?

saxman45 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 7:42

Hell, it probably doesn't want to either

5t3ff1k4h 44

Saturday 24 July 2010 7:53

How do you know the guinea pig's even willing?

JohnnyHobo 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 7:54

Hey, at least it will be a good listener if you ever need someone to talk to....

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

23 851

3 885

Today, it was my third day at my new job. It was super hectic; before long, I got so confused and overwhelmed, I had a full-blown emotional breakdown in front of my coworkers. My boss offered sympathy, telling me I could go home and he would never make me work on days like that again, but I still feel pathetic. FML

227

293

Today, I've been married for 17 years. I struggle with OCD and there are some things I can't get past mentally. One is tattoos. I have no sex drive toward women with tattoos. Friends only if they have tattoos. My wife knows this issue. My wife got her first 4 tattoos in February. Why?? Sex drive gone. FML

497

385

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML

2 180

274

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

76 346

11 788

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

30 076

86 780