Health: Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from...

By ray - 17/11/2011 11:22 - United States

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 041

You deserved it 24 198

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 561

You deserved it 3 841

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 736

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 2 303

Leave it to the pros

By Anonymous - 05/11/2021 00:01 - United States - Epsom

Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 243

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 993

You deserved it 3 992

Yippee!

By Such a rush - 27/09/2025 15:00

Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 124

By Anonymous - 04/05/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 209

You deserved it 8 975

Lumpy

By CantBlink - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Jersey City

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 090

You deserved it 2 789

By Snow - 07/02/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 778

You deserved it 35 119

Hangry boi

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 129

duckie227 22

Thursday 17 November 2011 16:05

That's not where that goes, hate to break it to you

Jdeluxh 12

Thursday 17 November 2011 16:08

You must really suck at making pb&j sandwiches.

Comments

EPICROCKERNINJA 8

Friday 18 November 2011 14:36

How did you get it there in the first place?

tyrrell030491 7

Friday 18 November 2011 17:09

Yeah just HOW did it get there?!

LullzKitteh 1

Friday 18 November 2011 18:40

lmao @62!

mamabear2011 5

Friday 18 November 2011 21:30

who does that? penut butter on the eye.

14natkatprat 0

Friday 18 November 2011 21:56

Peanut butter + eyeball = confusion for me. Lol

jonnynasty 0

Friday 18 November 2011 23:16

Mr peanut just busted a nut in your face, sorry bro.

thetoiletpaper 3

Sunday 20 November 2011 10:32

you missed?

drmountaindeww 0

Monday 21 November 2011 4:19

I don't even wanna know...

Fulldemonstorm 10

Tuesday 22 November 2011 3:57

sounds like a fun night

Fulldemonstorm 10

Tuesday 22 November 2011 3:57

sounds like a fun night

bubbles42597 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 4:49

Did u miss your mouth?

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Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 607

You deserved it 4 675

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 440

You deserved it 5 817

Today, I have to reschedule the vacation I had planned for eight months because I have the flu, and feel too sick to go and enjoy myself at a waterpark. This vacation is the only thing that's kept me sane these last two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 233

Today, I experienced gay panic. I've felt like this before, but all the other people of the same gender I've liked I had no chance with. This time, I might have a chance with this person, if I don't screw it up like how I did last time. Please please please don't be straight or already taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 499

Today, I went to sit on a desk chair, which promptly rolled out from under me. This made me fall on my own foot, literally shattering two bones. I just bought a 9-month gym membership and can't use it because I wanted to sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 156

You deserved it 426

Today, I woke up, like every other day, with no girlfriend, no family, no friends, and having to go to my second job. I haven't gotten a day off in months and somehow barely can afford rent. I spend within my means and budget appropriately, but there's always some shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 137